Like guests who don’t know when to go, certain phrases have camped out in our language living room. Doubtless they were clever when they arrived and entertaining in small doses, but they’ve worn out their welcome in society.
English is a wonderful thing and passed the million-word mark some time ago, so it’s not as if there isn’t plenty of wordage ready to make your acquaintance. As for those below, their social cachet is long gone, and they’re getting on our nerves. We’ll probably never know who invited them, but if any have crashed your conversation, feel free to ask them to leave.
Boots on the ground: An expression meant to convey the flexing of military might in the form of individual soldiers and to conjure visions of heavy soles leaping from helicopters. It’s flashy but cliché, and terribly overused by TV journalists. Say we’re sending troops.
Comfortable in your own skin: An expression coined to mean confident, so just say that instead. As if you could be comfortable in someone else’s skin. Plastic surgeons like to use this phrase. They will make your skin very uncomfortable.
Move forward: Used by politicians, corporations and athletic coaches when they want you to forget what they’ve done. Same as can we just move on, minus the arrogance.
Baby bump: A favorite of celebrity journalists who watch intently for these. For some reason, women have decided to let all their bodily references begin with b-words, including themselves.
Hot mess: Don’t say this anymore. Even if you are one.
We’re pregnant: No sir, you’re not. She is. You’re expecting. Expecting some big bills and for your life to change completely and forever.
Cirque de Apollo
I don’t know why the others even bother. The Mystic Krewe of Apollo de Lafayette held its Cirque de Apollo Ball at the Cajundome Convention Center and, as always, to a sold-out-since-October crowd. Mardi Gras incarnate took the stage and wowed everyone for the 39th time as Superheroes Mitch Reed and Kindrick Benoit bid adieu to their crowns and King Apollo XXXIX David Moore and Queen Apollo XXXIX Danny Davis took the throne. This is only the second time in the krewe’s nearly four decades that a couple has misruled together, and among the merry were President Phillip LeBlanc, Lester Mut, Baton Rouge King Apollo XXXIV Joe Boniol, Rachel D’Nae, past King Rusty Phillips and Jamie Graves, Colette Allen, wife of basketball legend Alonza “Allah the Rim God” Allen, the queen’s cousins Judy Burleigh, Claward Guillory and Brenda Landry, and Daniel and Shelly Bentley. What we loved: Ball Captain Sherman “Here Comes the Sun” Mire, Anastacia Beaverhausen’s flawless maquillage and Jimmy Poole’s light-up proposition. Like The Joker says, “Why so serious?”
Order of the Troubadours luncheon
These are some beautiful young ladies this season. Queen Berengaria of Navarre Oakley Montgomery, Lady Edith Sara Logan and their merry maids enjoyed a stately lunch at the Petroleum Club the day before their ball. Proud moms beamed as the girls practiced their walks one more time, including Catherine and Glenda Matt, Victoria and Colleen Barczyk, Michelle Mahtook, Viking Queen Juliet Mills and her mother Sandra, Hannah and Mary Werner, Victoria and Dana Topham, and Madeline Haydel, who sweetly declared, “It’s my mother’s fur, I don’t really know what to do with it.”
Petroleum Club princess lunch
What’s the point in being a princess if you can’t act like one? By royal decree, it was formal gowns at midday for Queen Xanadu Donna Olivier’s Royal Princess for a Day celebration at the Petroleum Club. Tiaras blanketed the ballroom — even the Queen Mum had one — while a five-tiered cake fit for a queen reposed in the corner. Among the many doing Her Majesty’s bidding were Debbie Mills, Lisa Ferguson, Donna Lyon, Monica Lyon, madame ball Captain Maxine Hollier, lone male King Xanadu George deGravelle, column fan Lynnette Sheffield and Kim Carbo, whose orange lace dress was au courant.