Since parents now get from the internet their how-to information — how to talk so little kids will listen, what to do when preschool friends aren’t playing nice, to intervene or not to intervene, how many adult worries should be mentioned to children, and how efficient is your child’s digestion — the internet is only too happy to offer its endless expertise. Grandparents with the actual OJT (on-the-job training) are sent to the fuddy-duddy heap, and there are even how-to columns to help parents do it.

By the way, you’re telling the wrong ones to cease and desist, and society depends on your getting it right.

As your elders would tell you, there are really only two words one needs to know to parent a child: “Stop it.” Granted, they have to be said by a parental commando ready to call in airstrikes, but the beautiful thing about this simple phrase is that it works whether the child is 3 or 13. However, failure to master it leads to society telling your adult child to stop it, and society’s time out is jail.

I’ve known this since I was 3 and watched my brother test my mother. “That rag stays right there,” she told him once during some sort of household maneuver.

“What will you do if it don’t?” he replied. (His behavior later improved along with his grammar.)

I used the two-word phrase to rear my daughter, and today she has a successful career, gets along with her colleagues, requires no intervention, knows what to do when her friends don’t play nice, and contends with her own adult worries and the efficiency of her digestion.

She also says, “Mom, please. Just stop it.”


Patricia Gannon covers society for The Acadiana Advocate. She can be reached at pgannon@theadvocate.com.

Footloose

The Krewe of Zeus met for its second dance of the year at the Petroleum Club. The theme was “Dress Alike,” an homage to members Leo and Annette Meaux, and the tunes of Bill & Trey kept couples out on the floor. Kicking it old school were Dan and Christine Devenport, Clara and James Reeves, Rose Moss and a gentleman simply referred to as “Trouble,” who said his wife would kill him if he had his picture taken solo. Clearly, the nickname could be well-deserved.

Le Triomphe Tee Off

Hard-core golfers gathered at Le Triomphe despite the rain to benefit Boys & Girls Clubs of Acadiana. The future of the second annual Great Futures Golf Tournament seemed doubtful due to weather, but nevertheless, spirits were high, and the clubs unloaded. Organizers said those who turned out were much appreciated, and not letting a few clouds get in the way of a good time were Trahan Real Estate Group’s Todd Trahan, smoking his lucky cigar, board member Ryan Thompson, IberiaBank’s Jerry Prejean, Le Triomphe cutup Jeff Anderson, Joe Long and Curtis Stewart, who said his team was TBA, but “I’m going to make that hole in one.” What we loved: that men golf in the rain and the way Justin Freeland spells his name. “It’s Free-land. Like America.”

God Bless America

Chorale Acadienne met for a matinee of American music at Acadiana Center for the Arts Devin Moncus Theater. The concert program contained a mélange of Aaron Copland, spirituals and anthems designed to please old and young alike. Waiting in the wings were tenor Chad Boudreaux, co-directors Rusty Boden and John Frank Reeve, Sylvia Turner, younglings Scott Jones and Jabryson Jones, Chorale President Mary Neiheisel and cutie pies Coco Dupre and Briley Herpin, out on a Sunday afternoon to enjoy their nation’s songs.

Ahoy, Sailor

It was a great day for Charlotte Segura, feted by a dozen girlfriends with a party at La Fonda, when, lo and behold, home with a few hours' leave from Pensacola, Navy son Hunter James surprised her with himself and some flowers. The best present ever, for which The Advocate just happened to be on hand. Anchors aweigh, and happy voyage.

Medicine Woman

Megan Assaf shared her extensive knowledge of folk herbalism and traditional women’s medicine at a Vermilionville lecture. Part of a quarterly series entitled "Healing Traditions in Acadiana," Assaf explored what women’s health looked like back in the day and how early Acadians treated maladies with local plants. “We make medicine once a month,” said master gardener and traiteuse Mary Perrin. “You can make lip balm, arthritis liniment, shampoo, deodorant, even snake bite remedy — which is what they did. Peppermint, basil, bitter melon, dock-some are weeds, but they’re not weeds in our garden.” Perrin, along with other master gardeners, oversees the medicinal garden at Vermilionville and are famous for their ginger honey bomb, sure to cure whatever ails you.