Rumors, those twisted tales with just enough truth to keep them going, where somebody told someone else about something somebody said. You know it when you hear it — a story in circulation without confirmation or certainty, yet somehow impossible to stop. Society’s rife with them, so much so their coverage often has a section all to itself.

There are rumors about everything and everybody, even me. Somehow they stubbornly persist, and after many months of a life of their own, I’d like to snuff them out once and for all.

I commute to Baton Rouge. I have driven the Autobahn, flown in a Russian jet, traveled by British lobster trawler, taken the midnight train from Heidelberg alone and been chased by a buffalo. There isn’t enough money to get me to commute on I-10.

I live in Baton Rouge. See above.

I get paid by the party. In other words, the more often you see me out, the more money for me. No, I do not get paid by the booking. You must have me confused with those other women who dress up at night and go out to work. I’m like a Moscow cab driver. I make the same amount no matter how many times I stop or how many there are of you.

The After Dark blog is fiction. Truth is often stranger than fiction, and every sentence actually has happened. Sometimes names are omitted to protect the guilty and recurring figures given noir nicknames, but the events are real and the people are real. You can’t make this stuff up.

I was fired. Only by my second husband.

I was in Nam. Really? Really?

Patricia Gannon covers society for The Acadiana Advocate. She can be reached at pgannon@cmaildrop.com or at pgannon@theadvocate.com.

Down in D.C.

Mardi Gras went to Washington, and they all asked for you. King Charles Goodson and Queen Amelia Zepernick held court in the nation’s capital for the Mystic Krewe of Louisianians and hard-core partiers able to make the trek. Thursday was a loud affair, Friday a stately sit-down dinner, and Saturday? Well, that’s when the real Mardi Gras began for the select VIPs able to get an invitation. “It’s a hard, dark party,” said one experienced guest. Among those surviving to tell the tale: Princess Laura Read Lee and her father Buddy Lee, Charles Boustany, Elizabeth Koke, Frank Randol, Maria and Mike Breaux, Matt and CeCe Stuller, Bob and Sandy Giles, and Tod and Sheramie Dore. What we loved: that Tod Dore, Marilyn Lee and Maria Breaux helped out The Advocate while we held down the fort at home.

Red Hot Vixens ’n’ Villains

Townsquare has arrived. Posh new La Marquise hosted the Red Hot Vixens ’n’ Villains, the Krewe de Bayou people’s ball. Misruling over the masses were King Cayenne and conservative radio talk show host Moon Griffon and Queen Rouge II Michele Ezell, while a fancy formal crowd danced away to top 40 hits past and present. Masked and making their presence known: Manager Mike Grimsley, Daniel J. Bentley, past queen Sharon Moss and Carol “Lolita” Ross. The highlights? Grimsley’s Joker, Scott Daniels’ “Johnny Bagodonuts,” man-in-black Bentley and Wayne Hebert, who never forgets a woman.