It’s come to my attention recently that there are brides with the temerity to say, “I love my boyfriend but hated my proposal.”

Gentlemen, just when you thought you were home free, it turns out your proposal must now be the product of a marketing firm. This is because there are those among you who stage elaborate, half-time Jumbotron proposals and public declarations of undying love on bended knee before an audience.

You may also blame YouTube and the Jill and Kevin couple who club-danced down the aisle six years ago with their entire wedding party. A man’s wish is no longer simply the woman of his dreams, but to go viral.

And while we loved the story about police stopping the couple and ordering the man to place the contents of his pockets on the cruiser for the express purpose of startling the bride-to-be with an engagement ring, future Romeos can rest easy.

Please bear in mind she is lucky to get you under any circumstances, and an appropriate proposal of marriage can take humbler forms. The Harlem Globetrotters need not be present, ditto for the Air Force Thunderbirds flying in formation and Maroon 5.

You alone are sufficient, the bent knee is optional in modern times, and “Will you marry me?” is still the standard phrase. Your pocket’s still the best place for the ring to pop out of and you do not have to bribe the waiter to bring it in the bouillabaisse.

A man’s proposal of marriage is singularly elegant in its simplicity and needs only to be uttered by yourself.

The only thing you can’t follow it with is “Just kidding.”

President’s Ball

The Petroleum Club honored past presidents and close kin with a members-only black-tie ball.

The very private affair featured elegant live entertainment and a fleur-de-lis ice sculpture that made it fine through the spring evening, when evidently men’s thoughts do indeed turn to romance.

“My friend asked if she was my trophy wife,” said former bank examiner Malcolm Domingue, who regaled us with the story of how he met his wife at the Petroleum Club one auspicious New Year’s Eve, while Robert DeKeyzer posed with wife Dot and asked, ““Can I kiss her? We’ve been married 65 years and I still love her.”

What we loved: Those romantic men in tuxes and Dot DeKeyser’s black Brahmin clutch, which was just like ours.

Victoria Queen’s Luncheon

The last Krewe standing.

Queen Victoria 2015 Dr. Sue Lein held her final court at Jolie’s the first week in March, and the crowns came out one more time. Far from forlorn, an enthusiastic Lein greeted all who entered and there were plenty, including Carolyn French, Sue Munchrath, Claire Bohn, Sharon Yeomans, Jeanne Rush, Elaine Abell, and royalty chair Charlotte Marullo. No tears were shed, all were royally fed, and the Queen herself prepared the pretty table favors — homemade Norwegian wedding cookies and a CD of herself playing Schumann’s Concerto in A Minor.

“I baked 350 cookies,” said Lein. “From 7:30 on Saturday and I didn’t finish until Sunday at noon, but I got it done.”

We’re guessing it took a lifetime for the concerto.

Curbside Appeal

Van Eaton & Romero was society-sharp Tuesday morning, mixing a little business with pleasure over a City Club ballroom breakfast.

Gathered over mimosas and coffee to anoint their own, showing well was Richard Tanory, early riser Terry Fitzpatrick from New Orleans, CEO Bill Bacque, Gail Romero, and Nancy Van Eaton Prince.

“It’s the people who are here who’ve made Van Eaton & Romero,” said Prince.

No doubt, but that pretty jacket and emerald earrings certainly made her.

A Mellow Affair

Carol Trosclair Lamson spearheaded a fundraiser for the University of Lafayette at Louisiana’s Kinesiology Department.

The Mellow Mushroom hosted the give-back day, and money collected from the “All-Day Dinner Party” will provide professional development awards for active members of UL’s Kinesiology Professional Association student club.

Being mellow were Robert and Liz Gilbert of Franks International, Dean Gerald Carson, Dr. Brian Campbell, Harold and Sarah Schoeffler, Chris and Trudie Wolking, and GM Billy Stagg.

What we loved: Overhearing organizers Campbell and Lamson saying, “We got to invite our friends to dinner — but did not have to cook, or clean the kitchen!”