Frank Fronczek says, “Having little to do but watch the lightning late Saturday night, I sent my brother Bill

(a McNeese grad) the following message:

“‘Cowboys make no first downs in unsuccessful road trip. LSU remains undefeated.’

“He replied: ‘Tigers narrowly avoid embarrassing loss. Divine intervention required.’”

Hard workers

Chuck Simms, of Plaquemine, says his wife, Hazel, suggests that all mothers should be honored on Labor Day:

“After delivering three big sons, she says that’s the true meaning of labor.”

Western exposure

“Want more on old Western movies?” asks Harold Mayeux. (Well, no, but I guess I can’t stop you...)

“The good guy would chase the bad guy at full speed for miles, shooting at each other, and never lose their hats or hit the horses.

“When going to rob a bank, the crooks would just pull their handkerchiefs over their noses and nobody ever recognized them.

“When the lady was stuck on the runaway covered wagon, the hero always rescued her by either riding his horse and jumping on the lead horse, or jumping on the back of the wagon and getting dragged underneath until he could pull himself up.

“When the good guy would tackle the bad guy off his horse, they always had to roll down a hill while fighting.

“And to think I paid 20 cents to see this, along with a double feature, a newsreel and a comedy.”

Spoiler alert

After Russ Wise brought up the subject of old Western movies, we heard from Nobey Benoit:

“I’m an Encore Westerns TV junkie. Would you please tell Russ to stop revealing the plots and ending to these shows? I’m trying to enjoy them!”

Bamafication

Keith Horcasitas got a taste of life in Alabama when he went on a fishing trip to Lillian, a coastal community.

When others at the KOA campground where he stayed saw his red T-shirt, they thought he was one of them. He didn’t have the heart to tell them it was a shirt promoting Cozumel, Mexico, and not the Tide.

And his reaction to their “How ’bout that Saban?” consisted mostly of awkward pauses.

But Keith did find the redneck way of life rubbing off on him:

“I caught catfish off the KOA pier with Slim Jim Original Beef Jerky!”

Move over, Bacardi!

Susie Munoz has found that Louisiana rum gets around.

On a recent trip to the Gulf Coast, she came across Rum Sisters, a bakery making rum cakes by hand, in Gulf Shores, Alabama:

“They exclusively use Bayou Rum, made in Lacassine.”

Island man

Marc Goldstein, of Baton Rouge, says, “I read the article in the business section Sunday about the ‘dot and not coms’ and all the new suffixes. About 12 years ago I found the .tv suffix, and because I’m in the video business, it was perfect.

“The .tv is the country code for a coral island chain in the South Pacific called Tuvalu. It’s a beautiful place.”

Wrong duck

Dru Trahan comments on a discussion about waterfowl and dietary restrictions: “It wasn’t the teal duck that was classified as seafood for Lenten observances. It was the poule d’eau — in English, the American coot or water hen.”

Pie in the eye

Ronnie Stutes says an article in the Sunday Advocate sports section “indicated that the New Orleans Saints were willing to accept public scorn for cutting a former second-round draft pick by smearing some pie on the organization’s face.

“Unless there is some strange Three Stooges cult in the organization, I think the expression intended was ‘egg on their face.’”

Thought for the Day

From Shirley Fleniken: “Good morning, everyone! My body is up. The mind will follow sometime today, hopefully.”

The vision thing

“Reading the TV listings in The Advocate is now a daily adventure,” says Marsha R.

“‘Dr. Phil: A woman claims to have many dresses.’

“My mind scrambles to figure out how this could be a problem worthy of Dr. Phil’s intervention.

“After several cognitive dead-ends, I squinch up my eyes and read it again.

“‘Dr. Phil: A woman claims to have many diseases.’

“It’s heck when your vision fails before your active imagination.”

Story time

Judy B. says at her local church there were two lines of parishioners waiting to get into one of the two confessionals:

“Then from one of them came a voice yelling, ‘You did WHAT?’

“The two lines became one long one.”

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.