John Logreco Jr., of Metairie, says, “My brother-in-law and sister-in-law came from Folsom to visit us early one morning several years ago.

“Since it’s a 50-mile drive and the traffic can often be horrendous, I thought the forlorn look on my brother-in-law’s face and the tone of his voice meant he needed something strong to drink when he said, ‘I need a screwdriver.’

“Even though my wife and I don’t drink, we always have liquor available for visitors who do. So I immediately poured some vodka and orange juice over ice, gave it to my brother-in-law and asked, ‘How’s this?’ He took a sip and replied, ‘That’s good.’

“So you can imagine my surprise when about 10 minutes later he asked me if I ever found a screwdriver for him so he could fix something on his car.

“To this day, no one who was there has ever let me live this down.”

Which reminds me

Many years ago, I had something wrong with my car, and called a mechanic I had met a few times at Chris’ Bar at North and N. 19th, a legendary Baton Rouge watering hole.

“Sure,” he said when I told him my problem. “Meet me at tomorrow morning at 8 at Chris’ Bar and I’ll take a look at it.”

I thought this a bit odd, but I agreed to meet him.

When I got there he was sitting at the bar having a screwdriver. I said hi and he nodded, then went on drinking.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I ordered a screwdriver too and sat down beside him.

After we finished our drinks, I asked him, “You want to see the car now?”

He looked shocked and said, “That was you who called? I thought it was one of my buddies I meet here some mornings!”

The guy was truly embarrassed, and I felt so sorry for him I turned my car over to him. And he fixed it.

To die for

My mention of an encounter with a banana cream pie from Lea’s Lunch Room in Lecompte reminded Patrick Howard, of Zachary, of this story:

“A couple of years ago my wife, Carolyn, and I stopped in Lea’s for breakfast. I don’t usually have dessert after breakfast, but this being Lea’s and all, I felt compelled to order a slice of coconut cream pie.

“After I took a small bite (I take small bites to make it last longer), I told the waitress, ‘Go ahead and cover me with dirt and put up my headstone, because I just died and went to heaven.’”

It ain’t me, babe

Kelli Eason Brignac just made me an offer I can refuse:

“Just wanted to check in to see if you would be interested in coming out to Sky Zone Baton Rouge Tuesday afternoon. We’re planning on the jump periods being between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m....”

I confess I have no idea what Sky Zone Baton Rouge is, but she lost me at “jump.”

I don’t even jump out of bed; I kind of slide out, like those alligators leaving the bank of the river in old Tarzan movies.

Thanks for the invitation, Kelli — but no thanks...

Unholy smokes!

Brian Keiser says when he read about a reader who had given up smoking 55 years ago, he thought of his Bible, and Chapter 55, Verse 2 of Isaiah:

“Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not?...”

Not so peachy

Pat Alba, of Metairie, brings up an issue that has been troubling me too:

“Oh, how I miss Ruston peaches! I can’t find them in this area in any of the grocery stores or farmers’ markets. Does anyone know if the peaches are anywhere close by?”

My daughter Tammy, who lives on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, says roadside vendors are selling Ruston peaches down there, so I wonder why I don’t see them around here.

Special People Dept.

— Lillie Mae Humphreys, of Centreville, Mississippi, celebrates her 93rd birthday on Tuesday, June 9.

— On Tuesday, June 9, Myrt and Clark Fooshee, of Jackson, celebrate 64 years of marriage.

— Linda and Leonce Waguespack, of Avondale, celebrate their 53rd anniversary on Tuesday, June 9.

Thought for the Day

From Robby Zeringue: “This new generation of ours needs its own moniker, like we Baby Boomers have. I believe we’ve moved from Generation X to Generation Text.”

Which reminds me

A “how times change” story:

Monday morning when I saw the white mini-bus weaving back and forth from one lane to another on I-10 East, it never occurred to me to think it was some early-morning drunk at the wheel.

“Texting while driving,” I said to myself.

And when we both got off the interstate at Bluebonnet and stopped at a light, I pulled up beside the bus and, sure enough, there was the driver with an electronic device in her lap, deeply engrossed in something while she waited for the light to change.

I hope she and her passengers got safely to their destination. But I wouldn’t bet on it...

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.