“I think I’ve got the ultimate ‘Yatism,’ says Charles Dunlap about the famed N’Awlins accent:

“Back in the ’50s, not many people ate crawfish. They weren’t available in restaurants or by the sack, but my friend Tony’s family loved them.

“His dad would send Tony and me to the spillway in the spring.

“I remember one trip where we brought back about half a croaker sack of mudbugs.

“We lugged them to the wash shed behind the house. Tony’s dad hollered out the back door, ‘Antnee, rench dem crawfish in the zinc before you berl em.’”

Crunch time

“Last night we had cheese, crackers and nuts for dinner, as it was late,” says Mark J. West.

“So this morning Mom is straightening up, and apparently forgot the ‘five second rule.’

“She snapped up a dropped peanut, ­only to realize she just ate a kibble.”

Color her impatient

Sarah Stravinska, of Chestnut, has a “mom mishap” story with an Easter theme:

“The kids were little and we were preparing to dye Easter eggs.

“I put on the pot of eggs, prepared the dye. The children were at the table, ready to wax artistic.

“The baby screamed, the phone rang with a husband who feared he had left his notes at home for a news story he’d been writing.

“After all that, I realized that I had never turned the heat on to boil the eggs!

“The kids sighed with exasperation at yet another of Mom’s slip-ups.

“A minute later I noticed 4-year-old Laura dyeing something.

“She had given up on me and brought in a small rock to dye.”

Memory lapse

Sam King says, “My wife, Linda, called the local eye center:

“‘I’m calling to make an appointment with the doctor for my husband, but for the life of me I can’t remember his name,’” she said.

“‘The doctor’s or your husband’s?’ was the alert reply.

“She only wishes...”

Pay to play

Jerry Schexnayder, of Baton Rouge (actually the Free State of Hoo Shoo Too), offers a modest proposal:

“Having a runoff election between two office seekers costs the taxpayer umpteen thousands of dollars.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to have the office seekers pay for the election out of their own pockets?

“Then we would see who wanted the office more.”

Highway Heroes Dept.

Luanne Vaccaro says she and coworker Amy Betts were returning to Slaughter after a conference in Chicago when, approaching the Gonzales area, “I heard this noise and noticed that my tire indicator light had come on.

“We pulled over to the shoulder and Amy got out, and said the back tire was practically gone!

“Needless to say, my car was loaded with our luggage. She started moving everything to get to my spare; I could not even get out for all the traffic on my side!

“As she was working on the lug nuts, out of the blue this gentleman walks up to the car to offer a helping hand.

“He had parked his car on the side of the off-ramp as he was exiting to Gonzales to come to our aid!

“All we know is he works at Jacobs and his name is Willie!

“Hopefully he will get a chance to see this huge thank-you! He just said to pay it forward. How sweet, and we will surely do something for someone!”

Thank-you note

Speaking of nice people, Bob, of Denham Springs, tells this story:

“One morning I was in line at the Denham Springs McDonald’s to purchase breakfast.

“When I drove up to the window to pay for my meal, the cashier told me that the woman ahead of me, in a white SUV, had paid for it.

“I don’t know who that woman is, but I thank her.

“It was a very nice thing to do. I will be paying it forward in the near future.”

Special People Dept.

Neal and Bettie Conley celebrate their 62nd anniversary on Monday, March 30.

Thought for the Day

From Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon: “I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.”

Useful appliance

Dudley Lehew, of Denham Springs, addresses our series on kitchen disasters:

“The ultimate solution for bad cooks/cooking is a simple one, found in my favorite line from the late comedienne Phyllis Diller:

“‘For Christmas, my family gave me a new stove ... that flushes!’”

Ill-chosen words

Bill Jacobson, as a service to husbands everywhere, offers this example of something you should NEVER say to your wife:

“It was some 64 years ago, and my new bride had just cooked her first Sunday dinner.

“Things were going swimmingly, and love was in the air, when I complimented her by unwittingly, or perhaps half-wittingly, saying, ‘Wow, that gravy is delicious; cut me another piece.’”

Contact Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.