Jim Douglas tells an LSU “hat story” from years ago that doesn’t involve Coach Miles and his white lid:

“My friend was walking down the main drag in Grand Isle when a car came darting by and almost hit him.

“He screamed ‘You dirty rat!’ — or some other appropriate words.

“There was a screech of tires, the car backed up, and the driver got out.

“My friend, who was wearing a wide-brim straw hat, ran into the nearest bar, where he saw one of the LSU football players (I won’t identify the player for fear that he can still whip me) sitting at a table.

“He put his straw hat atop the head of the football player.

“When the driver of the car came in and saw the hat, he walked up and asked, ‘Are you the one who called me an SOB?’

“‘The Hat’ slowly got up and replied, ‘No, but I will.’

“While the fisticuffs ensued in the street, my friend leaned on the bar and watched.”

Crab exchange

“The stories about Louisiana crabs remind me of something that happened before Katrina,” says Steve Koehler, of Metairie:

“While eating at Joe’s Crab Shack on Lake Pontchartrain at West End, I noticed on the menu that they proudly proclaimed that their blue crabs came from Galveston Bay.

“I thought this was humorous, since we were sitting in a restaurant that was actually over Lake Pontchartrain, famous for its blue crabs.

“I wondered if the trucks from Galveston actually delivered crabs every day.

“The real kicker came a few weeks later.

“We were visiting family in the Houston area when we passed a seafood restaurant, not 10 minutes from Galveston Bay, that proudly proclaimed on its marquee, ‘It’s crab season. Get on the Pontchartrain Choo Choo!’”

Stormy weather

Karen McLin, of Central, says one of her favorite “Texisms” of WAFB weatherman Tex Carpenter was, referring to a rain storm: “It wasn’t a gully washer; but if you stood in it, you got wet.”

Wretched excess

Regarding pet peeves, Angele Smith, of Lafayette, questions the one about using “over” instead of “more than.”

“I looked up ‘over,’ and one definition is ‘in addition or excess.’

“I wonder if that doesn’t fit ‘Over 1,000 people ran in the marathon.’”

(At LSU Journalism School, we were taught to write “more than” rather than “over,” but in casual conversation I probably say “over” more often. So violating the rule is probably more a misdemeanor than a felony.)

Special People Dept.

Ray Brown, of Central, celebrates his 104th birthday on Sunday, Oct. 5. He is a World War II veteran.

Hazel Marchand Schaubhut, of Lutcher, celebrates her 100th birthday on Saturday, Oct. 4. She is a native of Darrow.

On Sunday, Oct. 5, Margie Billodeaux celebrates her 96th birthday.

Virgie Panepinto celebrates her 94th birthday on Friday, Oct. 3.

Celebrating her 92nd birthday on Saturday, Oct. 4, is Pauline Cavaliere, of Port Allen.

Jane Carles celebrates her 91st birthday on Saturday, Oct. 4.

Nick Saladino, former mayor of Kentwood, celebrates his 90th birthday on Friday, Oct. 3.

Margie and Mayner Fontenot, of Ville Platte, celebrate their 68th anniversary on Friday, Oct. 3.

Golden moment

Frank Hash tells this story of mistaken identity:

“My son brought his three grandchildren to the LSU-New Mexico State game, and told the kids that they were going to watch the band and Golden Girls march down Victory Hill.

“His 7-year-old granddaughter got so excited and couldn’t wait to get there.

“She told him the Golden Girls was her favorite, and that she hoped Betty White would be there, since she was her favorite of them all.

“It seems that she watches the ‘Golden Girls’ TV show with her great-grandmother and loves it.

“She was a little disappointed that Betty White would not be there, but was happy anyway when she saw the beautiful marching Golden Girls.

“So all ended well, with a very happy little girl.”

On second thought…

Carl Gilchrist, of New Orleans says, “I sent my mother the church story about the little girl saving her money until she saw Jesus.

“She wrote back and said that one Sunday she saw a little boy put his dollar in the basket, squirm, then snatch it back out.

“His horrified mother made him put it back.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.