Golfers, like fishermen, are known more for the stories they tell than for their skill at their respective pastimes.

For instance, Ernie Gremillion offers this golfing tale:

“Seeing Charles Zachariah’s story about ‘the fly and the birdie,’ where a golf ball hung over the hole when a fly landed on it and caused it to fall in, reminded me of a similar story.

“Years ago in the member-guest tournament at Briarwood, one of the players hit a shot that was obviously going to fly the green on Hole No. 5.

“The ball collided with a bird over the green and fell close to the hole, allowing the player to make the putt for a birdie.

“Dick Walcott, the former local TV sports announcer, was playing in the group and reported it on his show that evening.

“As I recall, Dick hammed up the story a little and said he could have sworn when the player reached the green, the bird winked and said, ‘How did I do, boss?’ ”

Yat attack

A few more thoughts on Yats:

Mary Ann Riddle: “My wonderful ‘Yat’ brother-in-law from New Orleans has some unusual sayings and eating habits, but this one makes me giggle every time he says it: ‘hoz pipe’ for water hose.”

Roy Pitchford, of Monroe, a former New Orleans resident: “You might be a Yat if you’ve ever stacked sandbags in the rain as a hurricane moved ashore. (Yes, I have.)”

Dudley Lehew, of Denham Springs: “You KNOW you’re a Yat if your hurricane preparedness kit includes a new ‘No. 9’ Saints jersey, a collapsible Saints coozie, and not one, but TWO bottles of Tabasco sauce!”

Dick Derbes: “You’re certainly a Yat if you were able to spot at least 35 New Orleans clichés in the pilot of ‘NCIS New Orleans.’ ”

Type casting

Harriet St. Amant says, “All this talk about the disappearing typewriter reminded me of my high school band’s and orchestra’s annual concerts.

“Two pieces they played every year were light, fun pieces, both by Leroy Anderson: ‘Bugler’s Holiday’ by the band and ‘The Typewriter’ by the orchestra.

“The latter was accompanied by a real old-fashioned boxy Underwood typewriter in the percussion section, equipped with its own microphone so all the key-clacks, platen returns and end-of-row dings could be heard to the back of the auditorium.

“Anyone not familiar with Anderson’s music can see ‘The Typewriter’ performed here: https://twitter.com/tjonesreporterhttp://theadvocate.com/home/10110607-123/leblanc-gonzales-recall-organizers-havehttp://theadvocate.com/news/9914413-123/gonzales-mayor-vetoes-budget-forhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2LJ1i7222c">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2LJ1i7222c.”

Driving religiously

Tom Cagley says one Saturday he drove his wife in her car to a strip mall center on Siegen Lane:

“It was not a place I needed to go in and wait, so I walked slowly down to the end of the mall and back.

“I noticed that her car was parked next to an Escalade with this license plate: PSALM74.

Her license plate reads PSLM 23, and has since 1984.

“I called her attention to that as we walked to her car. She stared at the new plate and suddenly looked over her shoulder. ‘Look at that one,’ she commented.

“It was a Ram truck, and its license plate read PSALM28.”

Nice People Dept.

Sharkey and Marie Chaney and their daughter Deirdre thank “the person who anonymously paid for our lunch at Piccadilly this past Sunday.

“This was the only way we could think of to thank whoever it was and to let them know how much we appreciated the kind gesture.”

Vote for Amanda

Jessica Cook says, “One of our own south Louisiana girls, my sister Amanda Boe, 18, is competing for a chance to sing the national anthem at the National Finals Rodeo in Las Vegas.

“In order for her to win, people have to vote for her online at http://woobox.com/ugbwrh/vote/for/4631886.”

Special People Dept.

  • Katie Nell Morgan, a retired school principal in East Baton Rouge Parish, celebrates her 96th birthday on Thursday, Sept. 4.
  • Lester Bourgeois, of Bourgeois’ Meat Market in Thibodaux, celebrated his 90th birthday on Tuesday, Sept. 2.

    Curtis and Kathleen Fletcher celebrate 60 years of marriage on Thursday, Sept. 4.

Really, Granddaddy?

Tommy Watts says, “Your contributor’s story about the smart crows utilizing passing cars to crack walnuts brings to mind my experience.

“As a youngster, I became rather frustrated in my attempts to get close enough to the crows in the fields and woods behind my granddaddy’s house to get a shot.

“I sought the counsel of the old man who, having been born in 1887, had accumulated a hog’s bait of wisdom.

“Granddaddy offered a solution. He explained that I should get two friends to walk into the woods with me, then have them walk out of the woods.

“Since crows can’t count over two, he said, I should be able to get within range of my prey.

“I suspected I was being had but was never quite sure. As with a lot of other questions I had, I waited too late to ask him.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.