Mona Cancienne, of Donaldsonville, adds to our recent list of “Things Southern Moms Say:”

“Y’all quit!”

“Git back over here!”

“Git outta that!”

“I’m gitten the switch!”

“Yer face is gonna freeze like that!”

“I’m tellen yer daddy!”

“Git that out of yer mouth!”

“Make me tell you one more time!”

“The dog is not a horse!”

“I’m gitten the soap!”

“Because I said so! That’s why!”

“Blow it off! It ain’t dirty!”

“You wutten raised ina barn!”

“Put some shoes on!”

(Ever hear any of those?)

Local version

Annabelle Armstrong says the Christmas pageant at Broadmoor Presbyterian Church always draws “a good crowd of proud parents, grandparents and friends.”

The crowd was there last Sunday as the Three Wise Men “appeared in royal regalia, attired as tradition believes Melchior, Caspar and Belthazar would have looked.

“Like these kingly scholars, the three wise men of BPC bore what appeared to be gold, frankincense and myrrh.

“I looked at them and recognized Tommy Gautreau and his grown sons Brian and Brandon.

“Most people sit quietly in church, but leave it to me to say, ‘Oh, look, it’s the three wise Gautreau.

“I heard some soft laughter in my pew.”

You can book it

Due to a rain-shortened book signing last Saturday and requests from my readers (both of them), I will once again be signing copies of “Best of Smiley” and “Smiley! A Laughing Matter” at Red Stick Farmers Market in downtown Baton Rouge, on Saturday from 9 a.m. to noon.

They make excellent Christmas gifts for the loved one who has everything ­— except a book by me.

Bubbles is back

Gene Shelburne announces the Drive-Thru Living Nativity at Florida Boulevard Baptist Church in Baton Rouge will once again feature Bubbles the camel, “in her very own, handmade costume complete with jewels.”

It’s being held Friday, Dec. 12, and Saturday, Dec. 13, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Some of you might recall that for years I complained that the scene didn’t include a camel. No doubt just to shut me up, one was obtained, from where I cannot imagine.

Gene says the minister in charge promises an elephant next year, if they can find one.

Try gris gris, guys

Shelly Strobel says, “Speaking of early WWL radio, does anyone remember the lyrics to this old Breakfast Club song?

“‘Gris gris for sale, gris gris for sale. Made with the (something) from a one-legged quail.’ “Saints fans need to know this recipe now!”

Bareheaded Bum

Chuck Falcon, of Donaldsonville, says, “The story about the Texas cowboys not wearing their cowboy hats while they were dancing reminded me of Bum Phillips.

“Being the gentleman that he was, while coaching the New Orleans Saints, he would never wear his cowboy hat in the Superdome.

“When asked about this, he said he was taught by his mom that men do not wear their hats inside a building.”

Worthy causes

Jennifer Mayer says CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) seeks volunteers for its next training course, which begins Jan. 6:

“We need more volunteers to fill up this class so that CASA can continue serving every child in foster care who needs a voice to reach a safe, permanent home.”

Contact training coordinator Garcelia Burchell at volunteer@casabr.org or (225) 379-8598 for details, or visit casabr.org.

Special People Dept.

Mary Olive Pierson Olds, of Baton Rouge, celebrated her 98th birthday on Monday, Dec. 8. (Son Mike Gauthier, of Thibodaux, says she continues to believe in the benefits of “a couple of Krispy Kreme doughnuts fried in a generous portion of ‘buddah’ every morning.”

Robert “Sonny” Harris, of Bunkie, celebrated his 94th birthday on Wednesday, Dec. 10.

Dorothy D. Romero, of Baton Rouge, celebrated her 91st birthday on Wednesday, Dec. 10.

Carroll and Josie Daigle, of Gonzales, celebrate their 60th anniversary on Thursday, Dec. 11.

Bad news

“This joke could apply to several professions,” says Algie Petrere, “but I left it with accountant, since that’s the work I did.”

A patient was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.”

The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?”

The doctor replied, “Marry an accountant.”

“Will that make me live longer?” asked the patient.

“No,” said the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”

No show in NO

Wade J. “Papa Bear” Labat says, “I had the ‘privilege’ of attending the Saints game last Sunday.

“After we arrived home, a friend of mine asked where we were; he had been trying to call us.

“I told him we were in New Orleans.

“He questioned if the Saints had played.

“My response was ‘NO.’”

Contact Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.