When I started running golfing mishaps, I knew I’d hear from Ernie Gremillion. And, sure enough:

“The train tracks at Baton Rouge’s City Park golf course pass next to Hole No. 8, but well below the fairway, which provides a perfect hiding place. Years ago the tee box was next to Dalrymple Drive, which produced a very long par three hole with a blind shot to the green.

“When the pro started getting an inordinate amount of holes-in-one reported there, he became suspicious and staked out the hole.

“Apparently some youngsters had been playing a prank on golfers by hiding on the tracks and putting any ball that hit the green in the hole without the golfer seeing them.

“There are probably still golfers around who are not sure if they really had a hole-in-one there.”

Cutting remark

Mary Schorr, of Metairie, offers a comment on modern food:

“On our annual vacation to Orange Beach, Alabama, with my family, I was slicing a ham for lunch when the cousins stopped in.

“My grandson, Peter Warwick, immediately offered them a sandwich — and then, in a sign of the times with packaged food so prevalent, quickly added that the ham was ‘FRESH CUT!’”

Hungry bankers

Russ Wise, of LaPlace, asks, “Why is there a want ad in the Thursday Advocate which says — quoting directly from the ad — ‘The Federal Reserve Bank in New Orleans is seeking an experienced Sous Chef?’

“The job apparently requires both culinary and computer skills, by the way; the ad says. ‘Word, Excel and PowerPoint experience are a plus.’ ”

Swift reaction

The tale of grandsons who weren’t thrilled by Grandpa’s beloved old cowboy movies brought a memory of a similar incident to Charles E. Afeman, MD:

“While on a shopping spree in Florence, Colorado, where main street is filled with rare antiquities in grand old historic Western buildings, I stumbled across a rare but well preserved copy of a Tom Swift novel. Immediately I exclaimed what an exciting read this would be for our teenage grandson.

“To my surprise, my better half felt differently, and wondered what world I was living in.

“This classic was such a bargain I made the purchase anyway, and presented it to my grandson with great anticipation.

“He took a quick look, frowned in disbelief, said, ‘Thank you,’ and returned to his electronic game.

“I reread the novel anyway, and came across a few Tom Swifties which I laughingly read to him — and got only a puzzled look.

“It brought back great memories of times past for me. Haven’t seen a lot of ‘Swifties’ in a while. So here’s to a revival, Tom said sacredly.”

Since you asked

Just for Dr. Afeman, my favorite Tom Swifty, from my book “Best of Smiley,” credited to the late Vernon Alston:

“I’ll take the prisoner downstairs,” the warden said condescendingly.

Pasta of the past

Pam Rice offers help to Val Garon, seeking the mac and cheese of his youth:

“I did find one recipe on the Web for macaroni and cheese using long ‘old fashioned’ macaroni. Do a search for ‘Really Old-fashioned Macaroni and Cheese Recipe’ to find it.

“I also have one at home that uses the same macaroni, Pet milk, mushroom soup and cheese. My kids call it ‘Net’s Macaroni and Cheese,’ because the recipe came from their grandmother, Annette ‘Net’ Chustz.”

Special People Dept.

— Della H. Himel, of Geismar, celebrates her 102nd birthday on Saturday, April 25.

— Adele Lowe, of Port Allen, celebrates her 101st birthday on Saturday, April 25.

— Enola Dugas, of Paincourtville, celebrates her 94th birthday on Saturday, April 25.

— Ruth “Doodie” Barbay, of Plaquemine Caring Nursing Home, celebrates her 92nd birthday on Friday, April 24.

— Lynward “Buddy” Adams, a New Orleans native, celebrated his 92nd birthday on Wednesday, April 22. He is a Navy veteran of World War II, with 34 years in the service.

— Bobbie Loggie, of Baton Rouge, celebrates her 90th birthday on Sunday, April 26. She is a former resident of Wichita Falls, Texas.

— Lowell and Mary Anne Singletary, of St. Amant, celebrate their 67th anniversary on Friday, April 24. He is a Coast Guard veteran of World War II.

— Gibbens and Joann Robichaux, of Thibodaux, celebrate their 61st anniversary on Friday, April 24.

Divine trumpeters

“Years ago Bob Herrington, the ‘Chaplain of Bourbon Street,’ had an office next door to Al Hirt’s club,” says Melvin Daigle.

“One morning, as Bob was closing his office, Big Al Hirt was leaving.

“They introduced themselves to each other, and Bob told Al, ‘You’re the second best horn player I ever heard.’

“‘Who’s the best?’ asked Al.

“‘Gabriel,’ said Bob.

“Al said, ‘I never heard that cat blow.’

“The chaplain said, ‘Keep listening, brother! Keep listening!’”

Contact Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.