I had an idea that our mention of malapropisms would ring some bells:

— Sue Sperry, of Metairie, captures the spirit of this most recent discussion when she quotes travel writer Paul Theroux, who overhead a snobbish woman say, “I can’t stand it when people mispronunciate their words!”

— Woody Lambert says, “My uncle, when describing a concert he and my aunt attended, spoke about just how much the two of them enjoyed the show ‘Humplebert Enkledink’ put on.”

— Marion Denova says, “Crossing over the bridge, my children would call it the ‘Missiriverssippi bridge.’”

— Hewitt Gomez says, “My mother knew I was on the LSU weight-lifting team in 1948. She told her friends that I was a liftweighter. I corrected her several times, but she continued using the wrong word.”

Bag those winnings

It was inevitable: our seminar on cowboys’ horses morphed into a discussion of racehorses and those who put their money on them.

Dave Meeks offers his “version of a true story:”

“On an opening day at the Fairgrounds shortly after the new grandstands were built, there was a horse named Duffle Bag in an early race.

“As the announcer sang, ‘Around the turn and down the stretch they come,’ the crowd roared, ‘COME ON DUFFLE BAG!’

“And when it was done, sure enough, ol’ Duff had won at 40 to 1.”

Which reminds me

I’ve told this story before, but it’s one I like to tell, so indulge me:

Before we were married, Lady Katherine lived in New Orleans for a couple of years. For one of these years her house was across the street from the Fairgrounds, so on a weekend we could stroll over and catch some races.

One Sunday I got the numbers mixed up and bet on the wrong horse, a 20 to 1 shot, in the fourth race.

He turned out to be the winner, so I got $40 for my $2 wager.

As I collected my winnings, Lady Katherine had this insightful thought:

“We can stay here and lose that money, or we can take it down Esplanade and spend it on hamburgers at Port of Call.”

Mine was medium rare, with cheddar...

Why I love Louisiana

— You gotta love any place that has a greens cooking contest.

On Saturday, Sept. 26, West Feliciana’s annual Greens Cooking Contest is at 11 a.m. at the Sports Park 4-H barn. To enter contact Z. David DeLoach at zdave@deloachmarine.com.

“Bribing the judges is encouraged,” he says. All proceeds (and bribes) go to the West Feliciana Food Pantry.

— Keith Horcasitas says he was buying some cracklings from the Andre’s stand on U.S. 190 in Erwinville “when a fellow customer asked me, ‘This has gotta be good for the heart AND the soul, right?’’’

(Not sure about the heart — but the soul, absolutely...)

Literary monument

John LaCarna, of Baton Rouge, says, “Some of your readers have mentioned the venerated New Orleans meeting place under the clock of the D.H. Holmes department store on Canal.

“Now the building houses the Chateau Bourbon Hotel, and standing there greeting the passers-by is a life-sized bronze statue of Ignatius J. Reilly, the “hero” of the Pulitzer Prize winning novel, “A Confederacy of Dunces,” by John Kennedy Toole.

“You might recall that Ignatius meets his mother there at the beginning of his series of wacky adventures.”

A lefty’s lament

D.C. Jensen adds to our list of problems faced by southpaws:

“Back in the ’50s, when the blue ink in ballpoint pens didn’t dry easily, I came home from school every day with the heel of my left hand blue from putting it on the paper as I wrote.”

Nice People Dept.

A reader thanks “the kind person who paid for our lunch at Frank’s Restaurant on Tuesday.

“Your kindness really lifted my spirits. We were taking my disabled brother out to eat after my mother was just put in hospice with cancer.

“Also, thanks to the staff at Frank’s for their kindness and patience. This meant so much to us, and here’s hoping we can pay it forward one day.”

Special People Dept.

— Mina Newchurch, of St. James Place in Baton Rouge, celebrates her 99th birthday on Monday, Sept. 21.

— Joe Polack celebrated his 95th birthday on Sept. 10...with ice cream.

Thought for the Day

From Francis Celino, The Metairie Miscreant: “‘Anything you say can and will be held against you’ should be included in marriage vows.”

Crashing, crunching

Steven J. Koehler, of Metairie, says, “The other day my computer crashed; it just wouldn’t work right.

“Then I read in The Advocate that Google is working on a computer that can drive my car.

“What happens if THAT computer crashes?”

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.