Can you stand one more golfing story?

You can? Good:

Dot Cooke, of Metairie, says son Matthew was a soccer guy in high school, and “used to go ballistic over his ‘prissy’ friends who golfed. He would have nothing to do with the sport.

“A couple years after he was at Southeastern, someone got him on the course. He enjoyed it.

“Years later he came home telling about his ‘hole-in-one.’

“Playing at Oak Knoll in Hammond, he hit the ball from a tee and it careened off the door of the bathroom and went right into the urinal!

“What a great ‘hole-in-one’!”

(And how fortunate the bathroom fixture was not in use at the time...)

Education 101

“Years ago, as a novice high school teacher, I was offered advice from many seasoned co-workers on the subject of discipline, always a challenge,” says Pat Alba, of Metairie.

“Only one maxim was unforgettable: ‘Do not smile before Christmas, and teach them everything you know before Easter.’”

Chalmette dress code

I would normally question the veracity of a story like this one. But since it’s from my attorney, G. Allen Kirkpatrick, it must be true:

“?My buddy Perry Theriot sent me this one.

“For those of you who are familiar with Rocky & Carlo’s down in Chalmette, this will bring fond memories.

“This restaurant will charge you according to how you are dressed.

“If you wear a suit, it is the highest price (which is still cheap); jeans and a polo shirt, a little less; dirty fishing clothes and white rubber boots, cheaper still.

“And if you want the lowest price, you have to wear the coveralls from one of the refineries across the highway.”

(Thanks a lot, Allen, for dredging up a vision of baked macaroni and veal parmesan, with red gravy over everything, just as I’m about to open a bologna sandwich for lunch...)

Double trouble

Ronnie Stutes says, “I was reading the penultimate paragraph of Elizabeth Crisp’s Advocate story on a gubernatorial candidate forum.

“Regarding one candidate, she wrote, ‘...he thinks the state should start by addressing issues of double-dipping...’

“On first reading, I read that as ‘...he thinks the state should start addressing issues BY double-dipping...’

“‘Well,’ I thought, ‘he gets points for honesty.’”

Pasta preferences

Art Sterling says those long pasta straws sought by a nostalgic reader (for old-time macaroni and cheese) are ‘bucatini’:

“I have been using ziti for my M&C. Next time I might try bucatini.”

Cutting remark

Another nostalgia item about the vanishing barber shop:

Phil Ragusa says, “I suppose it was 1946 or so, when I was 9 or 10, that my dad used to send me and my brother Pete to get our haircuts at Landry’s Barber Shop right behind Kurtz’s Drug Store on the corner of North Boulevard and Convention Street in Baton Rouge.

“When it was my turn, Mr. Landry would ask me if I wanted him to cut off my sideburns or just trim ’em.

“My answer was always, ‘I don’t know.’

“After the laughter subsided, he said he would just leave them alone.”

Flat nice people

Jim Sylvest, of Clinton, thanks Clarence Knighten, also of Clinton, “for his help when I had a flat tire during Saturday’s rain. Good Samaritans do exist!

“Note: It’s a good idea to be familiar with your vehicle’s tire-changing equipment BEFORE needing it. Especially how to get the spare from its storage compartment.”

Worthy causes

— The Mental Health Association for Greater Baton Rouge benefits from the fifth annual Beat the Odds Casino Night and Silent Auction at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, April 30, at the LSU Rural Life Museum. There will be food by Heirloom Cuisine, a silent auction for original art, spa packages, jewelry, sports items, trips, etc., plus blackjack, craps, roulette and poker. Live music is by Phil Cangelosi, lead singer of the 484 South Band. Visit www.mhagbr.com or contact Jenny Ridge at jridge@mhagbr.com.

— Cindy Peno thanks her Bizzy Bunch Preschool “for the amazing job they did at their 17th annual Trike-A-Thon for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. This year’s Bunch raised $7,725 for the kids at St. Jude!”

Thought for the Day

From Harry Clark, of Lafayette: “You can tell you are getting old when you recognize more names in the obituaries than you do in the arrest reports.”

Kids in control

Regarding our mention of early TV remote controls, Richard Guidry, of Zachary , says, “We had four remote controls for our first TV.

“We even named them: Penny, Ritchie, Kenny and Dean.”

Contact Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.