I was watching one of the cable TV channels, probably ESPN, when a commercial for an egg peeler caught my attention.
It showed a poor woman trying to crack a hardboiled egg and peel it, and making a mess of the project.
She looked so distraught that my heart went out to her, and I worried about her mental state.
Then the announcer offered the solution to her problem — an egg-peeling device made of what appeared to be thin plastic.
You simply place the egg on a little stand, put an accordion-shaped device over it, push down, and viola!, your egg emerges intact and peeled.
The amazing device was offered for $14.99, plus shipping and handling, which I figured would make it cost some 20 bucks or so.
This seemed excessive, until the announcer shouted, “But wait! There’s more!” and told us we could get TWO of the peelers if we ordered immediately.
This would bring down the cost of each one to a more acceptable number.
Unfortunately, I saw the commercial after Christmas.
But next year when the gift-giving season comes around, I plan on sparing my friends and loved ones the agony and distress that comes from being unable to properly peel an egg.
Watch your mail, people…
Roy Pitchford, of Monroe, has this WWL story:
“One day as I was driving from my classes at New Orleans Baptist Seminary to my job at the Times-Picayune, I was listening to WWL while negotiating flooding streets during a downpour.
“There was a large convention in town, and the WWL announcer said many visitors had asked what a hurricane was like.
“‘A hurricane is like today,’ he said, ‘only everything is moving.’”
The po-boy diaries
Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, says he enjoys having lunch with his golfing buddy Frank Boudreaux at Chris’ Po-Boys on Moss Street in Lafayette:
“There’s a third member of this group, Bob Puckett.
“We alternate picking up the tab, with the exception of Puckett — Frank says Bob has a ‘reach impediment.’
“Frank’s grandson Hank, an engineering student at UL-Lafayette, describes our lunches as ‘organ recitals.’
“Hank’s right — most of the conversation is about our medical problems.”
Paul Major says, “My wife says she almost bought me a tie with ‘Bah! Humbug!’ on it for Christmas but decided not to.
“I told her that was a wise choice, since I only wear a tie these days for weddings and funerals — and it probably wouldn’t be the best choice of apparel in either case.”
Sarah Stravinska, of Chestnut, comments on Gary McGarity’s description of mall walks with wives that result in “walkus interruptus” as the ladies spot sales:
“‘Walkus interruptus’ at the mall is often followed by ‘credit card maximus outus.’”
Steve Koehler, of Metairie, says, “We recently bought a dozen eggs. On the carton, it said that the eggs were from ‘vegetarian fed hens.’
“My first thought was that was terrible, that nobody should be chopped up into chicken feed just because they decided not to eat meat.
“Then I realized that I had it wrong. The phrase means that the hired hands who feed the hens are vegetarians.
“I am sure that makes the hens feel better, knowing that they won’t be bitten by the hands that feed them!”
A signed ultrasound
Another reader remembers our own Elly May:
Sharon S. Gautreau, of St. Amant, says, “Many years ago I had the privilege of meeting Donna Douglas (Elly May Clampett) when my late father, Larry Suir, was having heart surgery at Our Lady of the Lake in Baton Rouge.
“She was in the waiting area because she had a family member in the hospital.
“She was very gracious, and autographed one of my father’s ultrasound pictures — he was thrilled to have it when he recovered.
“She was a lovely lady.”
Thought for the Day
From Marvin Borgmeyer, “It’s okay to be slightly cracked, so long as basically you are a good egg!”
Special People Dept.
Bida West, of Flannery Oaks Guest House, celebrated her 101st birthday on Dec. 22.
Georgina Bradley celebrates her 90th birthday on Monday, Jan. 12. She’s a native Californian, but a resident of Baton Rouge since 1945.
Juanda Levert says, “Our youngest three grandchildren were spending the night with us a few days ago, and I was talking to one of the 5-year-old twins.
“I told him I was so glad he was here, because I missed him when I didn’t get to see him.
“He said, ‘Me too. Sometimes I just have to get away from Mom and Dad.’”
Talk to Smiley
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.