Glen Naquin, of Baker, contributes this tale to our seminar on armadillos:

“A few years ago, in my younger and slightly wilder days, a friend and I decided on the spur of the moment to take a road trip up U.S. 61 toward Natchez, Mississippi.

“Well, it must have been that time of year when armadillos are feeling a little frisky, because on the stretch between Woodville and Natchez we noticed quite a few that had gone to meet their maker along the shoulder of the road.

“Many of them were just lying there with shell down and feet up. No real visible damage.

“And seeing no real harm in it, we decided to pull over and place one of the empty beer bottles we found in the back of the Jeep on the armadillo’s snout and balance it between his feet.

“Of course, one just wasn’t nearly enough — we stopped several more times over a distance of about 20 miles.

“We’ve often wondered what all those other motorists traveling up 61 that day thought of the inebriated armadillos. There’s gotta be a blues song in there somewhere.”

Short and sweet

I’ve noticed that several entries in Smiley’s Poetry Contest are of the minimalist variety.

Andi Cougevan, of Mandeville, says, “I’m only 5 feet tall. So, being short, I thought I would go for the shortest entry:

“Louisiana.

It’s hot.

Alaska —

it’s not.”

But even shorter is Ina G. Navarre’s “Ode to Baton Rouge:”

“Traffic.

Stopped.”

Agony of de feet

Lessie Hookfin says, “Often we think of children having first-day school jitters, but not teachers.

“But on the first day of school, Thursday, this happened to my niece, Ms. Johnson at Broadmoor High School. (I assume Lessie’s not giving her first name to avoid embarrassing her.)

“In her haste to be prepared for her students, she put on two different shoes — a shiny patent leather loafer on the right foot and a duller-hued loafer on the left; both black but clearly different to the eye.

“Arriving at school early, (probably 6 a.m.), at 10:30 she just happen to look down and to her dismay realized she had on two different shoes.

“I’m sure this chalk-carrying math teacher (head of the math department) stayed at her desk the rest of the day!”

Special People Dept.

— Doris Bailey Bell, a New Orleans resident for more than 60 years, celebrates her 101st birthday on Monday, Aug. 10. She is formerly of Des Moines, Iowa.

— Herman Edward McFatter, of Baton Rouge, celebrates his 98th birthday on Monday, Aug. 10. A retired livestock marketing specialist for the LSU Agricultural Extension Service, he is a World War II veteran with service in the Army Air Corps.

— Mary Boozer Jackson, formerly of Moorhead, Mississippi, celebrates her 95th birthday on Monday, Aug. 10.

— Irma Darphin, of Iota, celebrated her 93rd birthday on Saturday, Aug. 8. She was an Army nurse in World War II, and a member of Louisiana Women Veterans, who serve as honor guards at women veterans’ funerals.

— Earline Naquin, of Chauvin, celebrates her 91st birthday on Monday, Aug. 10.

— Rosario and Laura Martina celebrated their 70th anniversary on Saturday, Aug. 8.

— Teenie and Calvin Bajon celebrated their 64th anniversary on Sunday, Aug. 9.

— John E. and Vera Dixon, of Baton Rouge, celebrated their 50th anniversary on July 31.

Catch ’em young

Steve Toben, of Baton Rouge, has this comment on the Morris Bart birthday party:

“I’ve enjoyed reading how popular The Advocate’s story has become on the 2-year-old Prairieville boy’s fascination with one particular local attorney’s TV commercials.

“In fact, so enamored he’s become that his parents decided to throw him a birthday party with that attorney as the theme.

“But surely some of the other such attorneys must be scratching their heads wondering what they are doing wrong in their TV spots.

“I mean, if standing on top of big trucks, or catching multiple footballs while staring at a TV camera, doesn’t capture a 2-year-old boy’s interest, what’s it going to take?”

Early notice

Frances McCall, of Metairie, comments on my column jumping to other pages:

“Last week you were continued on the obituary page. That worried me until I realized it was a bit premature.”

(A BIT?)

If only ...

Sybil Roy Jaeger passes along this one:

“My son and his wife have recently installed Amazon’s voice command software called Echo.

“You simply say ‘Echo’ into your PC and give your command.

“Their 3-year-old daughter Fiona picked up on this, and recently faced the computer and gave the command, ‘Echo chocolate.’”

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.