“Louisiana Lipsey,” aka Wendy Lipsey, tells a story I would dismiss as fantasy if it came from a less trustworthy source:

“The craziest thing happened to me Friday night on my way home from Roberto’s River Road Restaurant.

“I was coming down Nicholson Drive when the car in front of me swerved off the road. Then I heard a loud ‘THUD!’ on the hood of my car.

“As I looked up a very large alligator was on the hood, with his mouth wide open! Yes, this is true; it really happened!

“I pulled over on the side of the road along with the car in front of me. We were in shock about what had just happened.

“Within just a few minutes three cop cars pulled up to make sure we were all OK. The 11-foot alligator was still alive, squirming on the side of the road.

“Only in Louisiana could this happen. I’m willing to bet Roberto’s served fried alligator as their special Saturday night!”

Adjust this!

Regarding the above story, I’d like to know the name of Wendy Lipsey’s auto insurance adjuster.

I assume her car was damaged by the flying alligator — and I want to be there when she starts explaining what happened...

Call CSI: Katy

Speaking of critters:

Judi Allen says, “Our daughter, Tracy Reine, living in Katy, Texas, related the following incident.

“Her husband, Tommy, had afternoon carpool duty for our granddaughters Sophie, 9, and Julia, 5, and neighbor boys Alex and Aiden, also 9 and 5.

“The conversation on the way home from school went like this:

“Aiden: ‘Julia has a dead frog in her book sack!’

“Tommy: ‘Julia! Do you have a dead frog in your book sack?’

“Julia: ‘Well, he wasn’t dead when I put him in there.’”

Sweet talking

Linda Dalferes says, “Grandson Joseph, age 9, told a lady at church Sunday that he is a lot like a hummingbird: ‘I have to have a little bit of sugar several times during the day.’”

Spitting images

LSU baseball fan Michel Fourrier is concerned.

She’s noticed that the team doesn’t appear to have a spitting coach, and wonders how any of the guys can hope to make it to the majors without knowing how to properly spit.

“I assume such a coaching position may be underwritten by Double Bubble at the collegiate level,” Michel says. “Just wondering, as I assume it is a key position.”

Bloody good story!

Leah C. Moore says, “My husband and I took our 6-year-old granddaughter to the LSU-ULL game on Saturday.

“Prior to the game starting, she was counting all the bases. When she got to ‘4th base’ (home), she asked if that was the ‘vampire’ behind home plate.

“I told her no, he wasn’t a ‘vampire,’ but an ‘umpire.’”

Not so high

When I got a note about the Tuesday opening of Sky Zone Baton Rouge, I assumed it was a skydiving enterprise, so when I was asked about jumping, I of course declined.

But upon further investigation I’ve discovered that it is a new trampoline park on Industriplex Boulevard.

That’s different. But I’m still not jumping...

That’s just peachy

George McLean is helping fellow Metairie resident Pat Alba locate those luscious Ruston peaches:

“Pat doesn’t have to go far — the fruit stand at Transcontinental and West Esplanade in Metairie advertises them frequently.”

Special People Dept.

— Elsie Sharp Cockerham, of Liberty Community Living Center in Liberty, Mississippi, celebrates her 98th birthday on Wednesday, June 10.

— Lena Dias celebrates her 96th birthday on Wednesday, June 10.

— Rita and Emile E. Sander III, of Slidell, celebrate their 59th anniversary on Wednesday, June 10.

— Manuel and Sandra Garza, of Pierre Part, celebrate 55 years of marriage on Wednesday, June 10.

Horsing around

“Not being a big horse-racing fan,” says Bo Bienvenu, of Prairieville, “I didn’t watch the races in the run for the Triple Crown.

“However, during the process I heard several news reports that made me think the owner of American Pharoah was from New Orleans.

“It wasn’t until I saw his name in print (Ahmed Zayat) that I realized they were not saying ‘Ahmed’s a Yat.’”

Not even close

Dale Oudkirk, of Denham Springs, has been watching the Weather Channel to keep tabs on the Red River flooding:

“The weatherman was showing how all the water runoff from Oklahoma and Texas was draining into the Red River and flowing to Louisiana.

“While showing the route the flood water would take after it leaves Shreveport, he told us it was going to flood Alexandria, Virginia.

“That’s when my granddaughter turned and said, ‘He must not be from around here.’”

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.