Keith Horcasitas offers us guys a sure-fire way to “stay out of the doghouse” and score some major points with our loved ones of the opposite gender.

At a women’s prayer breakfast at the Our Lady of Mercy activity center, he noticed that of the 350-plus attendees, “I was probably one of only 15 dudes to attend this event.

“So, when I noticed a long line of women waiting to use the ladies’ room, and only a very few guys using our designated space, I deftly made sure no guys were in the men’s room and cordoned it off to allow the ladies to use our facilities!”

Keith says the guys “were very cooperative in this venture,” one he had first tried at a Saints game in the Superdome when he noticed few guys and many women using their respective facilities.

“Talk about making brownie points!” he says. “Like at the Superdome, I never got so many thanks from women — even from my own wife!”

Mr. Forgetful

“The Wife Left Behind” is one of the “urban legends” in his book “Too Good to Be True,” but author Jan Harold Brunvand admits there are some documented cases of husbands on trips leaving rest stops without their wives.

Buck Bertrand tells of one such incident:

“During the 1950s and 1960s my dad owned a popular full-service gas station on U.S. 190 West, through Opelousas.

“In the early 1960s a couple, having left New Orleans and returning to their home in Houston, stopped by the station for gas and to stretch their legs and use the rest rooms.

“The husband used the rest room, paid for gas and left. A few minutes later, the wife entered the office and asked where was her husband.

“We told her that he must have left, and we did not know that she was not with him.

“Now remember, there are no such things as cell phones, few credit cards, and no receipts (that might have a phone number) unless asked for.

“My dad called the State Police to give a description of the husband’s car, so they could stop and tell him.

“They never could locate the husband. He did not realize his wife wasn’t with him until he stopped in Lake Charles for lunch.

“The husband did not return to pick up his wife until three hours later, but not before he ordered a burger and fries ‘to go.’

“The wife was not a happy camper. True story.”

Enriching lives

“I just saw a quote that reminded me of Baton Rouge’s recent ‘FestForAll’ event, says Marvin Borgmeyer: “Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.”

The Joker

“We lost a great Baton Rouge personality with the recent death of Dan Wingate at age 81,” says Lee Faucette.

“Dan always had a funny story to tell around the halls of public schools where he taught and coached.

“Dan served on Jerry Epperson’s staff when Broadmoor High won the 1966 state football championship in Tiger Stadium, defeating South Lafourche 24-0.

“Also on the football staff was Bryan Vaughn, an Istrouma graduate. Dan said to Bryan, ‘You know, if Mr. and Mrs. Bardwell (a prominent Baton Rouge family) had gone to Istrouma rather than Baton Rouge High, instead of naming their four sons Princeton, Harvard, Stanford and Duke, those boys would be answering to McNeese, Nicholls, Southeastern and Northwestern.’

“Dan had more jokes than Henny Youngman. Always self-deprecating, he told this one often, ‘I graduated third in my class at Eros High School (south of Monroe) and was in the bottom half of my graduating class. There were only four seniors.”

Special People Dept.

— Irma “Nina” Hart, of Hammond, celebrates her 99th birthday on Thursday, April 16.

— Inez Townsend, of Baton Rouge, celebrates her 94th birthday on Thursday, April 16.

— Iverson Gandy Sr. celebrates his 92nd birthday on Thursday, April 16.

— Winnie Brignac Simoneaux, of Prairieville, celebrated her 90th birthday on Wednesday, April 15.

— Felicie and Jack Rogillio, of Rosedale, celebrate their 74th anniversary on Thursday, April 16.

Thought for the Day

From Algie Petrere: “I’m going to retire and live off my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.”

French curse

Marsha Reichle says, “My mother warned me about the dangers of using common phrases.

“She told me she was working in the bakery department of a grocery when she dropped a tray of doughnuts. She responded with a bit of cussing, and looked up to see she was being observed by a customer.

“She smiled and said, ‘Pardon my French.’

“The lady stiffly replied, ‘I am French, and we do not speak that way.’

“I should add that this didn’t happen in Louisiana with our fun-loving Cajun-French speakers, but in Honolulu, and the frosty lady was very French-French.”

Contact Smiley

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.