Paul Major says, “Perhaps, after the senatorial candidates’ lack of adherence to the time limits in last week’s televised debate, we should break out Maxwell Smart’s ‘Cone of Silence.’

“Watching a candidate’s lips move without hearing anything could maybe provide at least as much information as having the sound on.”

Worth the price

Speaking of the Campaign from Hell, Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, says a recent rate hike by his cable TV provider had him fuming.

But then, he says, “after the last couple of months hearing about fences, Social Security and Obamacare, I have decided that cable ain’t charging enough for giving me channels without political ads.”

Grounded!

Tom DiNapoli says, “In the wake of the Ebola crisis our governor’s suggested the state implement a no-fly list.

“Maybe if enacted, it’d force him to spend more time in Louisiana rather than flying around the country in his bid for the presidency.”

Our own ivy

Mike Eldred, of Tylertown, Mississippi, says he loves the concept of a Southern Ivy League, composed of athletic teams from such bastions of education as Tulane, Rice, Vanderbilt and Duke.

“However,” he says, “with the lack of English ivy, it would be more appropriate to call it the Southern Kudzu League.”

Act of kindness

A regular customer at Calandro’s Supermarket on Government Street saw this while shopping there with her son:

“A lady ahead of us in line had a cane and was having trouble walking. She asked the bagger to double her bags, because she was walking home.

“Debbie, the cashier next to my line, asked her manager if she could take the lady home, and her manager let her.

“This cashier didn’t have to do anything, but she took it upon herself to help this lady. She has a special place in heaven.”

Without a song

Winston Day, a Baton Rouge High grad, says it’s sad to realize that this year marks the first time since the early ’30s that NEITHER Istrouma High nor his alma mater will field a football team:

“I always had the highest respect for our arch-rivals from the north, and vividly recall hearing the Istrouma fight song.

“I would like to play that great tune on my Saturday afternoon radio show on the public radio station at Baton Rouge High.

“If any of your readers have a tape, etc., I will happily digitize it and return the original.”

Contact him at thatspecialmusic@gmail.com or (225) 766-2047.

No to the neck

Bobby Sibley, of Watson, “I was amused by T. Hendry’s story of Willard Scott ordering ‘All you can eat for $3’ chicken and getting a neck, a back and a wing.

“He actually got my three favorite pieces of chicken.

“Took me 25 years to get my wife to fry the back. But she drew the line on the neck.”

Worthy causes

Danielle Caldwell says Community Coffee Co.’s program, “Coffee for a Cause: Money for Local Education,” is underway:

“Through Jan. 31, 2015, simply saving UPCs from Community coffee products can earn local schools money for new textbooks, materials, etc.

“This program is entering its 26th year; to date, it has helped participating schools generate over $4 million.”

Looking for stuff

Tonya Robertson says The Young Leaders Academy seeks candy and stuffed animals for its first “Boo with the Blue” on Thursday, Oct. 30, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the new Baton Rouge Police Department headquarters on Airline Highway.

She also needs pink beads and boas for her Sunday “Pink Party” to help fight breast cancer.

Donations can be dropped off at 419 North 19th St. Email tonya_ylabr@yahoo.com or call (225) 346-1583.

Special People Dept.

  • Ben H. Alsip Jr. celebrated his 91st birthday on Saturday, Oct. 18.
  • Kelly Simomeaux celebrated his 90th birthday on Friday, Oct. 17. He was an Army artillery officer in World War II and Korea.

Truthful answer

Patricia Alba, of Metairie, says, “My daughter Cathy and her friend Mike went to a seafood restaurant in Covington for lunch.

“Mike asked the young waitress, ‘Where do you get your oysters?’

“She pointed toward the kitchen and replied, ‘Over there.’”

Keeping the faith

Larry Conkerton tells of a little boy named Joseph who told his friend Harold he was praying for a little red wagon for Christmas, and that “God answers all our prayers.”

On Christmas morning Harold went over to Joseph’s house to see his wagon, but found that his friend hadn’t gotten one.

He told Joseph, “I thought you told me that God answers all your prayers.”

“He did answer my prayer,” said Joesph. “He just said ‘No.’”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.