Our nostalgia item about the wine service at Baton Rouge’s late lamented Cotton Club (“You want the red chardonnay or the white chardonnay?”) brought this response from Tony Falterman, of Napoleonville:

“The article on the wine list reminds me of the very funny and successful John Politz of Politz’s Restaurants in Thibodaux and Napoleonville.

“On a busy night a young waitress walked up to the bar service window where John worked and said that a customer wanted to see the wine list.

“John tore a piece of cardboard off a discarded box, drew a line down the center and put an ‘R’ on one side of the line and a ‘W’ on the other.

“The waitress wanted to know what that meant, and John said, ‘Red or white.’

“A few moments later, the waitress returned and said the customer wanted to know what kind of red or white.

“John took the piece of cardboard from the waitress and put a large ‘H’ on one side and a large ‘C’ on the other.

“The waitress stared at the cardboard and looked at John, and he said ‘Hot or cold.’”

Take it to the limit

T. Hendry adds to our “all you can eat” seminar:

“Years ago, TV personality Willard Scott was doing a report from some small town in Indiana.

“He said he saw a sign on a restaurant: ‘All the fried chicken you can eat for $3.’

“He went in and ordered. The waitress brought him a neck, a wing and a back, and said, ‘That’s all you can eat for $3!’”

Seasonal pets

Joan Pennington says, “Recently I was in a local nursery and saw a young father pulling a wagon with two very young children and two pumpkins.

“As they passed me, the little girl turned to her younger brother and asked him, ‘What are you going to name yours?’”

Invasion of privacy

Murphy Stillwater says, “I note with interest the proposed amendment creating a Department of Elderly Affairs.

“I am surprised that such a department is necessary to monitor seniors. Is it really a problem?”

Nice People Dept.

Retiree Linda H. Whitam says, “My husband Ken and I attended the OGB (Office of Group Benefits) meeting last Tuesday at Independence Park.

“It was stressful trying to absorb all the information we received.

“The bright spot of the day was Jeremy Burns, with the Louisiana State Police.

“He transported us in a golf cart to the door, and was there when we exited to return us to our car.

“He was so polite and respectful. His parents definitely did a good job raising him.

“Thank you for helping us, Jeremy.”

You speak Brooklynese?

Dr. Joe Ricapito is starting a “Brooklyn Club.”

He says, “Only persons who grew up in Brooklyn need apply. The club’s motto will be ‘Fuggeddaboutit.’”

Send name, address, phone number and/or email address to ricapito@lsu.edu.

The good news guy

After a reader mentioned it, Bearded Friend advises us that the radio newsman H.V. Kaltenborn did not use the phrase “There’s good news tonight.”

That was the catch-phrase of radio commentator Gabriel Heatter, who used it during the dark days of World War II.

Hot times in Zachary

Chili-cooking teams are sought for the “Code Red Chili Cookoff” on Saturday, Nov. 15, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Americana development in Zachary.

Proceeds will benefit the LaneRMC Foundation projects, such as the new Radiation Oncology Center at the hospital.

There will also be craft beer tasting, food, music and a car show.

Teams can register at LaneRMCFoundation.org or by calling Theresa Payment at (225) 658-6699.

Special People Dept.

Elsie Fabre Vallet, of Baton Rouge, celebrated her 94th birthday on Monday, Oct. 13. She is a native of New Roads.

Don Cary, of Baton Rouge, celebrated his 94th birthday on Saturday, Oct. 11. He is a Navy veteran of World War II.

Olevia Murray Williams celebrated her 93rd birthday on Sunday, Oct. 12.

Eunice Downey, of Brusly, celebrated her 91st birthday on Monday, Oct. 13.

Garland and Marilyn Landry celebrate their 69th anniversary on Tuesday, October 14.

Bobby and Betty Caston celebrated their 60th anniversary on Wednesday, Oct. 8.

Thought for the Day

From Harriet St. Amant: “Autumn is a beautiful time of year. At the White House, squirrels are rounding up nuts on the lawn, which is more than the Secret Service is doing.”

Humid humor

Carrol Jordan, “The Generic Cajun,” says, “The most memorable of WAFB-TV weatherman Tex Carpenter’s sayings, to me, is this one:

“One morning he started his program with, ‘Well, we had one-half inch of partly cloudy last night.’”

WRITE SMILEY: at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.