Frank Hebert, of Napoleonville, says on Saturday he mowed his lawn, and the LSU Tigers won their football game:

“Does this mean I have to cut grass every Saturday for the rest of football season?

“My wife says yes, but I need your professional opinion.”

You better do it, Frank — it’s not wise to mess with fate. Or wives …

Try ‘hunkalicious’

Karen Poirrier, of Lutcher, offers a female perspective on football:

“While husband Buddy and family members watched the Saints play the Phoenix Cardinals on Sunday afternoon, I (not an avid football fan) was asked to be quiet, as I frequently commented on players’ hair and looks, indicating which players I thought most handsome, looked the best in their uniforms and were most athletic.

“As a muscular tight end hustled toward the goal line, I began clapping and yelling, ‘Oh, he’s sooooooo ‘huscular!’

“If looks could kill, I’d be dead!”

Horse sense

After Tony Falterman in the Friday column asked about the names of horses ridden by movie and TV Western stars, the scores of correct answers that came pouring in showed that these days you don’t need a great memory, you just need access to a computer. Websites like Fifties Web offer such information at the touch of a button.

Patrick Howard, of Zachary, led the hordes answering the question, getting in his answers at an alarming 4:02 a.m. on Friday. Here are the horses and their riders:

Buckshot, Wild Bill Hickok; Buttermilk, Dale Evans; Champion, Gene Autry; Duke, John Wayne; Loco, Pancho; Diablo, Cisco Kid; Silver, The Lone Ranger; Target, Annie Oakley; Topper, Hopalong Cassidy; Trigger, Roy Rogers; Tony, Tom Mix; Black Diamond and Rush, Lash LaRue; Joker, Andy Devine; Stardust, Gene Barry; Silver Bullet, Whip Wilson; Ring Eye, Smiley Burnette; Rebel, Audie Murphy; Thunder, Wild Bill Elliot; Falcon, Buster Crabbe; Tornado, Zorro; Cactus, Sunset Carson; and White Flash, Tex Ritter.

Horsing around

The above-mentioned Fifties Web, which listed horses of Western stars, also gave out this fascinating information on show biz horses:

Argo was the horse of Xena, Warrior Princess; Bear was ridden by Priscilla Presley and Rising Sun by Elvis Presley (I assume in Western movies they made); Smokey was the horse ridden by Lee Marvin in “Cat Ballou,” and given credit by the actor in his Oscar acceptance speech; Hero was the horse of The Phantom (even though he wasn’t a cowboy), and Dandy was ridden by Gen. George Armstrong Custer (but not at Little Big Horn; that unlucky nag was named Vic).­

Prayer place

After mention in the Saturday column of the practice of crossing oneself at the clock in front of the D.H. Holmes department store on New Orleans’ Canal Street, we heard from Alison Schenk, of Metairie:

“I was told as a child that people would make the sign of the cross under the D.H. Holmes clock because they were saying a prayer for God to ‘bless all that meet and pass here and grant them safety.’ ”

Down Memory Lane

After a reader mentioned the return of some long-lost children’s books, we got this note from Dottie Hutton:

“Reading your column Thursday brought back warm memories. I, too, received a new Cherry Ames nurse series book each Christmas. I am 81 and I have never found anyone who remembers reading any of those books.

“My mother mistakenly gave my collection away, and I have missed having them for my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to read and perhaps enjoy as much as I did.

“Please thank Priscilla Compton Freyou for my afternoon of fond memories.”

Nice People Dept.

Sharon Callahan thanks “the person who paid my bill at Frank’s Restaurant on Airline last week. You made my Wednesday sparkle!”

Special People Dept.

Joe and Eleanor Novotny, of Baton Rouge, celebrate their 61st anniversary on Tuesday.

Second chance

Our seminar on cowboy movies reminded Harry Clark, of Lafayette, of this old story:

“Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were watching an old Western. The good guy was chasing the bad guy when Thib says, ‘Bet you $5 that when the bad guy goes around that boulder, a low hanging limb knocks him off his horse.’

“ ‘You’re on,’ says Boudreaux.

“Sure enough, the bad guy gets knocked off his horse as he rounds the boulder.

“Boudreaux gets out his five and hands it to Thibodeaux. Thib says, ‘I can’t take your money. I saw this movie yesterday and knew what was going to happen.’

“ ‘No, no,’ says Boo. ‘I saw it yesterday, too, but I thought that guy would remember and duck this time.’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.