When I read the Thursday Advocate headline, “We could have done better,” quoting Gov. John Bel Edwards as he discussed the Legislature’s performance in the special session, I immediately thought of a Bob Dylan song that pretty well describes what the governor must have been feeling:

“I ain’t a-saying you treated me unkind

You could have done better but I don’t mind

You just kinda wasted my precious time

But don’t think twice, it’s all right.”

Let’s hope that at the end of the regular session, the governor’s not using another Dylan song in discussing the lawmakers’ actions — the one titled “Idiot Wind.”

Ready to roast

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying...

There’s nothing funny about what’s been happening at the State Capitol lately, as our legislators seek to answer the question, “Is Louisiana ready for self-government?”

But at the 65th annual Gridiron Show, put on by the Capitol Correspondents Association, the people who cover state government will try to find some humor in the whole sordid business, through skits and songs.

Directed by the amazingly patient Ronnie Stutes, the show will be held on Friday, March 18, and Saturday, March 19, at the American Legion Hall on South Wooddale Boulevard. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., with curtain at 7:45 p.m. Seats are $25. You can tailgate at your table, and drinks are available from the Legion.

Gov. John Bel Edwards will attend the Saturday night show and deliver the official response after the media types have had their fun.

Send ticket orders to P.O. Box 44131, Baton Rouge, LA 70804, or go to the GridironShowBR Facebook page for more information.

Priming the pump

“My granddad was head usher for St. Joseph Cathedral in downtown Baton Rouge,” says F.M. Grouchy, of Pride:

“Every Sunday he started the collection with a silver dollar. Later he would retrieve the dollar (he gave regularly to the church).

“One day one of the new ushers went to the priest and said, ‘I think Mr. Grouchy is stealing; I saw him take a dollar out of the collection plate.’

“The priest said, ‘Mr. Grouchy has been starting the collection for years with that silver dollar. It was the first dollar the U.S. Army gave him when he returned from the Spanish-American war in Cuba.’

“I had that silver dollar for years; but of late it’s missing in action.”

Meaty topic

John R. Baker says, “Your remarks about Vienna sausages reminded me that growing up in Texas, all my family called them ‘vie-E-nah’ sausages. I still do if I don’t pause before I call their name.

“My friends at LSU would laugh when they heard me revert to my Texas pronunciation. I just figured they were envious of my Texas roots.”

Dudley Lehew, of Marrero, says, “Please inform your readers that down South, they’re pronounced ‘vy-n-uh’ sausages. They are now available with mustard, barbecue sauce, jalapeno or tomato sauce — a wonderful variety for the Vienna sausage gourmet.

“They make a wonderful snack with crackers, and should be in everybody’s pantry — along with, of course, an indigestion aid of some kind...”

Row, row, row...

Susan Hendry Tureau adds to our “name game” discussion:

“When I met my husband and asked him his name, he told me his last name by saying in his cute Cajun accent, ‘You got ya one row, you got ya two row, you got ya three row, now go back to da two row.’

“His last name is Tureau. I have had it pronounced ‘Ta row’ and ‘Turio,’ and have had it in correspondence as ‘Trudeau.’”

Generation gapping

Karen Poirrier, of Lutcher, says, “When my 15-year-old grandson, Taylor, returned from school one afternoon, we sat at the kitchen table while he ate his after-school snack. He asked me what I considered the most important invention of his generation.

“I asked him if this question was a school assignment, to which he said no, he just wanted to know. He asked if it were, would my answer be different? To which I responded, ‘Maybe!’

“I listed a number of inventions I considered important (the smartphone, apps, social media, shopping online), but choose the ‘fist bump,’ because it’s a way to make physical contact with another person to express a positive feeling, especially to acknowledge a commendable accomplishment.

“Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, he walked off saying, ‘Grandmother, you’re sooooooo dope!’

“But Smiley, I don’t do dope!”

The late Linda

Pat Alba, of Metairie, says, “My friend Linda is active in church, civic and social affairs, but is seldom on time for an event.

“On one occasion I remarked to her, ‘I’ll bet you were late for your own wedding.’

“She replied indignantly, ‘It wasn’t MY fault — it was the photographer’s!’”

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.