After I mentioned church jokes, I heard from readers with their favorite tales.
- Mary Ann Aucoin, of New Orleans, says, “At Mass one Sunday the priest told this story during his sermon:
“He was teaching a second grade communion class about the Mass.
“After going over the prayers before communion, when we say, ‘Oh Lord, I am not worthy to have you under my roof, but only say the word, and I will be healed,’ one little boy started waving his hand frantically.
“When asked what the problem was, the child said, ‘Father, Father, what is the secret word?’
“I almost have to chuckle every time we get to that part of the Mass each Sunday.”
Shirley Fleniken says, “A father and son were riding in their truck together one day and the son asked the father, ‘Dad, how high can you count?’
“The father replied, ‘Well, I don’t know, son — how high can you count?’
“The son immediately replied, ‘One thousand, five hundred, forty-two.’
“The father said, ‘Why did you stop?’
“The son shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘Well, church was over…’”
Rose Rolfsen says, “A few years ago my son Michael took his five children to church, and gave each of them some money for the collection basket.
“His youngest, Mary, proceeded to put it in her purse.
“Michael explained to her that it wasn’t for her, it was for Jesus.
“She said, ‘OK, I will give it to him when I see him.’”
Eat your troubles away
Wayne Thevenot, of Alexandria, Virginia, continues our discussion of aggressive birds:
“My brother Bruce emailed his siblings for help in dealing with a marauding roadrunner who has taken over his suburban Austin, Texas, yard and is driving him nuts by loudly pecking on his kitchen windows.
“Bruce asks if one of us knows a good roadrunner recipe.
“Brother Steve, of St. Francisville, suggested he check Google under ‘Texas fast foods.’”
Sue Sperry mentioned some pet peeves involving language — here are others:
Mike Eldred, of Tylertown, Miss.: “Please add ‘woken’ to your peeve list. ‘Woken’ is not a past participle of anything, much less the verb ‘to wake.’”
Janice DeJean: “My pet peeve is about the use of the phrase ‘went missing.’
“It seems to imply that the person missing chose to ‘go missing,’ just like if I ‘went fishing.’
“Why can’t reporters say that someone ‘is missing’ or ‘has disappeared’?”
Algie Petrere: “I think the most common grammatical error is the use of ‘I’ following a preposition.
“For example: ‘Smiley drank a root beer with Andy and I.’
“Wrong! It should be ‘with Andy and me.’
“My English teacher, Miss Varnell, told us to say the sentence leaving off the first noun. You wouldn’t say ‘Smiley drank a root beer with I.’
“There are a lot of newscasters and celebrities who obviously didn’t learn this rule.”
(Now I’m thirsty, Algie!)
Rob Payer says the radio training program at Baton Rouge Magnet High School kicks off its week-long on-air fundraiser on Saturday, Sept. 27 at 6 a.m.
WBRH (90.3 FM) and KBRH (1260 AM) not only train students in broadcasting, but also provide the community with good sounds — R&B, blues, jazz, Cajun music, etc.
Special People Dept.
- Jessie Myrl Rushing, of Nottingham Regional Rehab Center, celebrates her 101st birthday on Friday, Sept. 26. She is a former resident of Amite and Greensburg.
Mary C. Brechtel, of Algiers, celebrates her 94th birthday on Friday, Sept. 26.
Elaine Gomez Cortelloni, of Lake Sherwood Village, celebrates her 94th birthday on Friday, Sept. 26.
Mable Ruth Moses celebrates her 93rd birthday on Saturday, Sept. 27.
Minnie Lou Hutchinson, clerk of the Village of Tangipahoa for 43 years, celebrates her 91st birthday Sunday, Sept. 28.
Ed Barton, of Lake Sherwood Village, celebrates his 90th birthday Sunday, Sept. 28.
Catherine Gegenheimer celebrates her 90th birthday on Sunday, Sept. 28.
Donald and Thelma Strickland, of Prairieville, celebrated their 62nd anniversary on Monday, Sept. 22.
Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, says, “With the ubiquitous lovebugs in full force, I am reminded of the time I was returning from east Louisiana and my windshield was so full of lovebugs that I had to back up all the way from Hammond to Denham Springs.”
Connie Jenkins says, “When I was a bride 49 years ago, I moved to my husband’s home town.
“When people asked who I was married to, they didn’t know his first name.
“They would say, ‘Oh, you mean Sparerib!’
“Now they call him ‘Sparetire’ (did I mention 49 years?)”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.