While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, here are a few stories from columns earlier in this century:

Supremely wrong

Ken Davis, teacher at Villa del Rey Elementary, tells of talking to his kindergarten class about the American flag.

After the discussion, he decided to test their recall ability.

He asked, “Who remembers the name of the lady who made the first American flag?”

One little girl raised her hand and said, “Diana Ross.”

Nouveau riche yard

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, says he was in Eunice when he read an ad offering a special plant — “pompous grass.”

Thought for the Day

From Jess Walker: “It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.”

Hair-raising tale

Chuck Perrodin says he heard this news bulletin, but I’m not sure I believe him:

“A truck has just crashed, scattering its load of wigs all over the road.

“Police are combing the area ...”

Unhappy returns

John Allphin came across this tale: “The doctor’s secretary called an old farmer and said, ‘Your check came back today.’

“The old man replied, ‘Yep, and so did my arthritis.’”

For the birds

Mel Prust offers this Christmas pun: “While playing a short hole, a golfer hit his ball into a deep rough, where it flushed out a small game bird.

“It was the first time he had ever seen a partridge on a par 3.”

Thought for the Day

From Chuck Falcon, of Donaldsonville: “You know you are getting old when your class reunions take place in the doctor’s office.”

Party on, Shirley!

“I’m the life of the party,” says Shirley Fleniken, “even when it lasts until 8 p.m.”

Setting the scene

Laurie Johnson says her nephew Sean Stockstill, 5, had his mom explain to him the meaning of the phrase “Nativity scene.”

The explanation came after a discussion of what kind of Christmas decorations would look best on their front lawn.

Sean said he’d like the whole “God set.”

Yeah, why IS that?

From our “Why Parents Have Gray Hair” department, a tale from Sherry Boudreaux:

“As I was putting up my Christmas decorations, my 5-year-old son, Mason, spotted the blocks that spell ‘NOEL.’

“He asked what it spelled, and I said, ‘That spells NOEL.’

“He replied, ‘Well, I see an L in it, so why does it say NO L?’”

Thought for the Day

From Mr. Ed, of Ponchatoula:

“One good turn — gets most of the blankets.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.