Another tale of an unsolicited sales call, from Linda Dalferes:

“A friend of mine got a call from someone whose accent was not at all out of south Louisiana.

“He had this long spiel explaining to her that her computer was slow and needed upgrading, and that if she would give him all of her information he would take care of that little problem for her.

“My friend listened patiently until he was done, then told him, ‘That’s all very interesting — because I don’t have a computer.’

“He hung up.”

Broke or broken?

Fernand Dionne, of Metairie, says, “As I walked into the Winn-Dixie store on Veterans Boulevard in Metairie last week, I saw a sign on the ATM machine reading ‘BROKE.’

“Even if English is not my primary language, I thought it should have been ‘Broken.’

“On second thought, if the machine was empty, then ‘Broke’ will have been correct.

“I went back to the store Saturday and the sign was gone. Either the machine was fixed or replenished with money.”

Jersey connection

Back in 1989, Louisiana native Michael Arnone, working in New Jersey, missed Cajun cooking so much that he flew in 300 pounds of crawfish. His parents cooked a big pot of sausage-and-chicken jambalaya, and he put a little ad in the Good Cajun Times, a publication for Louisiana expatriates.

He rented a small pavilion at a park in Riverdale, hired two bands, Peach Fish Pie and Bayou Midnight, and had 70 people attend.

He had so much fun he kept putting on the May event, even after he moved back to Louisiana in 2000.

This year his “Crawfish Fest” will be held from Friday, May 29, to Sunday, May 31, at the Sussex County Fair Grounds in Augusta, New Jersey.

In addition to great Louisiana food, the festival features 23 musical acts, including Dr. John, Anders Osborne, George Porter Jr., Kermit Ruffin, Geno Delafose, C.J. Chenier and Rosie Ledet.

Michael says, “The festival still has the feel of a backyard block party, like back home — just the block has gotten bigger.”

For more information, visit CrawfishFest.Com.

Lucky old sun

Valla Culpepper, of Lafayette, answers the “Inquiring Minds” question about “partly cloudy” vs. “partly sunny:”

“I was taught in school that the sun is always there. Some days we don’t see it because of clouds, smoke, volcano ash or smog.

“Just because it is obscured doesn’t make it go away. I think it is wrong to say ‘partly sunny.’”

Long way around

“My sister mailed a check to St. Francisville from Jackson a couple of months ago,” says Faye Hoffman Talbot, of Jackson:

“About two weeks later the lady called to say she never received the check. My sister mailed another check.

“This week the lady called to say the original check arrived. After it left Jackson it went to Thailand before it went to St. Francisville.

“She said that since there was a Barnum & Bailey elephant stamp on the envelope, maybe that confused the postman — so it got sent to the land of the elephants.”

Tall tale

Richard Fossey, who teaches at ULL in Lafayette, says, “My friend Don from Breaux Bridge went to the doctor recently.

“The doctor checked his weight and said, ‘Don, you’re too heavy for your height. You’ve only got two options: either I can stretch you about 12 inches or you can go on a diet.’

“Don thought about this a minute and then said, ‘OK, Doc. I’ve just got one question for you. Will it hurt?’”

Gardener’s quandary

Marvin Borgmeyer says, “As summer approaches, I was wondering what I need to plant to grow a seedless watermelon.”

Special People Dept.

On Tuesday, May 26, Lurline and the Rev. Joel P. Hilbun celebrated 64 years of marriage, the last 43 in Baton Rouge.

Deflategate South

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, tells of another potential scandal that rivals the New England Patriots’ recent troubles involving quarterback Tom Brady and some under-inflated footballs:

“I’ve heard that an investigation is underway into allegations that the LSU baseball team’s bats were deflated prior to their SEC tournament game against Florida (won by the Gators).

“The Tigers’ bats tested .025 PSI, which is below the acceptable minimum.

“A bat manufacturer told me that the test figure would make the bats virtually useless.

“Among the suspects is the Florida pitching staff...”

Meaty topic

Richard Guidry, of Zachary, addresses an issue discussed here recently:

“Speaking of stolen plums: do you know what’s worse than finding a worm in the plum you are eating?

“Finding half a worm.”

Contact Smiley

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.