This is not your typical "who will win the Oscars" piece. We think awards, specifically the Oscars, are pretty meaningless.
Remember when "The Artist" won best picture?
No one remembers “The Artist.” Not even Jean Dujardin.
If the Oscars voters had any guts, they would shake things up. Give that golden statue to a movie that's good and that audiences loved.
As much as we bemoan the Oscars, the show will go on — for the 90th time.
This year, in our opinion, “Get Out” should win everything because it feels like the movie of 2017. But it probably won't.
Jordan Peele’s directorial debut is not quite a comedy, but it’s funny. It’s not quite a horror film, but it’s shocking. It tackles important topics without pretension. It’s not “the racism movie.” It’s more of a B-movie that's well done, entertaining and worth repeated viewings.
We could maybe see some value to the broadcast if it was fun to watch. It's not. You know the script. The host starts the ceremony with a joke about the excruciating length of said show then goes into a song-and-dance about who's in the crowd.
"Look! It's Meryl Streep! She's perfect!" "Remember Mel Gibson? He's OK now, I guess!" "Don't worry everyone, Harvey isn't here."
The crowd laughs nervously. Somewhere Clint Eastwood is shaking his fist at a chair. Others are making a statement in a million-dollar dress.
It's all so, so, so boring. (Although we hope Jimmy Kimmel might add a little political spice this year.)
So we decided to bestow our own awards in the inaugural In A Perfect World Oscars. That's right, not who's going to win this year, but who should have been nominated and who should be taking home the gold. These award-worthy movies and performances were snubbed by the Academy, but no more.
And the nominees and winners of the In A Perfect World Oscars are:
Best Motion Picture
- “Blade Runner 2049”
- “The Florida Project”
- “Ingrid Goes West”
- “Good Time”
- “It Comes at Night”
- “The Killing of a Sacred Deer”
- “Marjorie Prime”
- “The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)”
Should-be Winner: “The Florida Project”
- Hugh Jackman, “Logan”
- Robert Pattinson, “Good Time”
- Brad Pitt, “War Machine”
- Adam Sandler, “The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)”
- Vince Vaughn, “Brawl in Cell Block 99”
Should-be Winner: Adam Sandler, “The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)”
- Garance Marillier, “Raw”
- Aubrey Plaza, “Ingrid Goes West”
- Brooklynn Prince, “The Florida Project”
- Florence Pugh, “Lady Macbeth”
- Kristen Stewart, “Personal Shopper”
Should-be Winner: Brooklynn Prince, “The Florida Project”
Best Supporting Actor
- Dave Bautista, “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2”
- Michael Fassbender, “Alien: Covenant”
- Jon Hamm, “Marjorie Prime”
- Barry Koeghan, “The Killing of a Sacred Deer”
- Ray Romano, “The Big Sick”
Should-be Winner: Jon Hamm, “Marjorie Prime”
Best Supporting Actress
- Tiffany Haddish, “Girls Trip”
- Holly Hunter, “The Big Sick”
- Nicole Kidman, “The Killing of a Sacred Deer”
- Tatiana Maslany, “Stronger”
- Michelle Pfieffer, “Mother!”
Should-be Winner: Tiffany Haddish, “Girls Trip”
Lifetime Achievement Award
Wesley Snipes. For his contributions to cinema, which include "Blade," "Demolition Man," "The Fan," "Drop Zone," "Passenger 57," "New Jack City," "White Men Can't Jump," "Boiling Point," "Rising Sun," "Murder at 1600," and "Money Train." Thank you for your service.