Karen Day Myers joins our discussion of persistent salespeople with a story proving that the court system can also go to great lengths to contact folks:

“After my parents passed on, I had their mail redirected to my house, and when I had the phone turned off I asked that calls be rerouted to my number.

“Shortly after this, I got a summons for jury duty — for my mom.

“I wrote ‘Deceased’ on the envelope and sent it back.

“Soon I got another, giving the threat of action taken if she didn’t appear.

“With that one, I included a copy of her death certificate and returned the notice — again.

“A short while later, I got a phone call advising me that a bench warrant would be issued to have her picked up.

“I informed the caller that I understood, and suggested that whoever was sent to pick her up pack a bag and some lunch.”

Bottom feeders

Buddy Knox’s story in the Monday column, about receiving scam phone calls, reminds me of my own experiences,” says Ernie Gremillion:

“Whenever I get obvious scam phone calls from people from afar who either want to fix my computer or have me join a class action lawsuit, after I dismiss their offer I usually suggest to them that instead they should try stealing purses from old ladies at the mall.

“It’s more honorable, and they could probably make more money.”

Growth industry

“My best friend and his wife were visiting their son in Denver a few weeks ago,” says Fernand Dionne, of Metairie:

“Their son is in his early 30s, holds a master’s in bioengineering, and is now involved in the marijuana business.

“They are not too thrilled about it, having spent a lot of money for his education.

“I said to my friend, ‘Why don’t you go in a JOINT venture with him in the mile HIGH city?’”

Name that crooner

Dudley Lehew, of Denham Springs, says, regarding our mention of celebrities who have changed their real names to something easier to say or remember, “Don’t forget those who had a normal name, like Arnold George Dorsey, but went in the other direction!

“Don’t know Arnold George Dorsey?

“How about Englebert Humperdinck?”

Redundancy blues

Martha Wright follows up on Celeste’s complaint about repeating a word already contained in an initial:

“Yeah, Celeste, that ATM machine is always asking us for our PIN number.”

You can book it

“It’s that time again,” says Pat Hoth. “The purple bins are back at Kean’s locations, and the Friends of the LSU Libraries have begun collecting books for the 2016 Book Bazaar.”

Plural, please

Jane Honeycutt says, “Please remind writing and broadcasting professionals (as well as the general public) that the word ‘media’ takes a plural verb, because it includes print and broadcast journalism as well as other forms of communication, such as photography.

“Print is one medium; together print and broadcasting are media.

“It is incorrect to say ‘the media IS!’ I see it and hear it far too often.”

Special People Dept.

— Effie Cambre celebrated her 98th birthday on Monday, June 1.

— Isobel “Miss Izzy” Carter celebrated her 95th birthday on Monday, June 1.

— Yvonne “Skeeter” Teeter celebrates her 90th birthday on Tuesday, June 2. Daughter Fran Flory, LSU’s head volleyball coach, says her mom excels at another sport: “She plays bridge seven days a week.”

— Mac and Thelma Phillips, of St. Amant, celebrated 62 years of marriage on Saturday, May 30.

Rain man

“I know the answer to the question, ‘Why are we getting all this rain?’, says Richard Guidry, of Zachary:

“I didn’t plant a garden this year. If I had planted one, people would be dragging out the hoses to water the tomatoes.

“No need to thank me.”

Mr. Materialistic

Ronnie Hotz, of Lafayette, tells of the successful attorney who was getting out of his brand new Porsche when a truck came barreling down the road, drifted right and completely tore off the driver’s door:

“Fortunately, a cop was close enough to see the accident, and pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche with his lights flashing.

“Before he had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about his precious Porsche, which he had just purchased the day before.

“The cop shook his head in disbelief: ‘I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are. You are so focused on possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.’

“‘How can you say such a thing?’ asked the lawyer.

“The cop replied, ‘Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!’

“‘Oh, my God!,’ screamed the lawyer. ‘My Rolex!’”

Contact Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.