Robert DeBate, of Sorrento, has come up with a way to deal with the bottom-feeders of the marketing world:

“My wife says I’m rude when I hang up on telemarketers.

“So recently, when I received a call from one, I answered him in French.

“He suddenly said, ‘Stop mister, stop mister! Is there anyone in your household who speaks English?’

“Again I answered in French, and he hung up on me.

“This is the first time a telemarketer hung up on me!

“Smiley, am I rude?”

(No, Robert, rude is disturbing a stranger by making an unsolicited call to try to sell something or get votes for someone. The proper response, according to The Advocate’s Mr. Etiquette, is to break off the connection as quickly as possible and go back to your interrupted dinner.)

Geography 101

Paul Major comments on an Advocate article about a couple suing British Airways for being sent to Grenada in the Caribbean instead of Granada, Spain:

“They shouldn’t complain too much — the alternative could have been Grenada, Mississippi.”

Doggone accommodating

Tony Falterman, of Napoleonville, says after reading in the Monday column about the nice eye doctor (he cut off the lights so he could tell his elderly patient he “didn’t see any wrinkles”) he was reminded of “a discussion I had with my optometrist.

“He was a veterinarian before becoming an eye doctor, and I jokingly asked him if he would see my dog as a patient.

“His response was, ‘If he can read the eye chart, bring him in and I will see him!’”

One-stop shop

I can’t let mention of a veterinarian/optometrist pass without bringing up the old story of the guy who was a veterinarian and a taxidermist.

His motto was, “Either way, you get your dog back.”

Thoughtful thief?

Earl C. Johnson, on a trip to his bank, experienced precautions against identity theft:

“I was making my usual meagerly deposit to my checking account when the polite young lady behind the counter looked at my deposit slip and then asked for my picture ID.

“My picture ID? Is it possible that some imposter, for whatever reason, is putting money into my account?”

Rugby love

De De Durabb Zahn says Charles Young’s recollections about Rugby Academy in New Orleans “brought tears to my eyes and beautiful memories.

“My husband Earl and I met at Rugby, and it was love at first sight.

“He graduated in 1957; I graduated in 1958. Earl had been at Rugby since second grade, and became major and battalion commander in his senior year. I was a lieutenant and platoon leader in Female Company.

“Being a small school, we all knew each other. We studied all week and partied at each other’s homes each weekend.

“John Walls was headmaster, and his wife Betty was in charge of the cafeteria.

“Earl and I will be married 56 years in September, and in one of our wedding pictures there is Charles Young. He was always a good friend.”

Nice People Dept.

Gail C. Tassin, who works at Sunrise Senior Living on Siegen Lane in Baton Rouge, tells of an act of kindness:

“A couple from a nearby neighborhood brought three amazingly beautiful flower centerpieces from their granddaughter’s wedding.

“They thought our residents might enjoy them.

“We appreciate their kindness and generosity.”

Worthy causes

Pizza Hut restaurants in Kenner, Destrehan, LaPlace and Gramercy are arranging for painting and improving the St. Charles Parish Hahnville Veterans Housing Outreach Ministries Living Site.

Ministries director Lisa Carey says the site serves “disabled, transitional, forgotten, needy, wounded senior veterans.”

Special People Dept.

  • Woody Evans, of Zachary, celebrates his 91st birthday on Wednesday, July 2.
  • Joe and Sybil Boudreaux, of Ventress, celebrate 65 years of marriage on Wednesday, July 2.

    Preston and Yvonne Pond, of New Orleans, celebrate their 59th anniversary on Wednesday, July 2.

Faulty phone

Ernest Armond, of Denham Springs, offers this story:

“An accident in a classroom at Texas A&M caused the instructor to ask a student to ‘Call nine-eleven!’

“After a few minutes, the student told the instructor that he couldn’t find eleven on the cell phone.”

Bad reception

Chris Daniels, of Baker, comments on a recent Advocate story about a south Louisiana woman who was busted and accused of driving with $3,000 in crystal meth inside her portable radio:

“This lends a new meaning to that decades-old gospel song, ‘Turn Your Radio On!’”

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.