Probably like a lot of other husbands, I found this story, from Terry Grundmann, of Kenner, to be rather terrifying:

"I wanted to surprise my wife, Wanda, so when she walked in on Jan. 18, I said 'Happy anniversary!' and had nice gifts.

"She was very surprised — especially because we were married in June.

"It was my anniversary, all right — from my first marriage.

"She took it in stride because I had so many nice presents for her. But I had to do it again six months later."

What accent?

Jim Bordelon tells an accent story:

"A few years ago, on my way home from Florida, I stopped for gas at a small town in Alabama.

"After filling up, I decided to get a cold drink, so I asked the cashier where the drinks were located.

"She said, 'In the back dere.'

"While going for the drink, I was thinking what a twang she had in her voice.

"On my way out she said, 'How are things in New Orleans?'

"I said, 'How did you know I was from New Orleans?'

"She said, 'From your accent.'"

The flying Yat

Speaking of New Orleans accents, former New Orleanian Keith Horcasitas, of Baton Rouge, has this memory:

"On my flight to Europe in July 2016, (my first trip ever to London, Paris and Rome), I was 'bumped up' to first class on the way to Heathrow, as some seats had not been sold, and I had gotten my tickets very early.

"They offered me unlimited wine — I love Merlot.

"And the flight attendants got a kick out of my N'awlins accent (with a Buddy Diliberto twist) when I toasted, 'From a Who Dat; y'all are really where it's at!'"

That other squirrel

Tom Cagley, of Baton Rouge, offers this tip to readers plagued by squirrels robbing bird feeders:

"For my August birthday, my son Nick gave me a small bird feeder with a window-mounted seed platform, cage and cover.

"My first visitor was a dove, but it was too large to fit through the small squares that led to the food. My next visitor was a chickadee, and it had a feast.

"My next visitor was a squirrel, who time and time again tried to squeeze through the squares to get to the food. I tapped on the window, but he came back every time.

"He became such a nuisance that I had to dig deep into my bag of tricks.

"I borrowed my wife's good-sized hand mirror and propped it up, letting it face the bird platform so that the squirrel might scare himself away.

"I never saw him again."

Special People Dept.

John Goodman Jeffirs celebrates his 96th birthday Wednesday, Sept. 13. He is a World War II veteran.

Birds of a feather …

"I joined 14 ladies for a lovely lunch the other day," says Faye Hoffman Talbot, of Jackson:

"One of the ladies was celebrating her 76th birthday, so I quietly pulled the waiter aside and asked if he could bring her a special dessert.

"He said, 'Which one is she?' I replied that she was the lady with white hair.

"He looked at me very confused — because all of us were over 70, and most of us had white hair.

"I forget that after a certain age, we all start looking alike."

Grammar humor

Marvin Borgmeyer offers example of jokes that English instructors tell each other in the teachers' lounge:

"Did you hear about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, 'Couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't?' She was having contractions.

"Which word becomes shorter after adding two letters to it? 'Short.'"

Fighting chance

Harry Clark, of Lafayette, shares this bit of Navy lore:

"The famed early American naval commander John Paul Jones was fighting a British ship during the Revolutionary War.

"After the battle had raged on for some time, the British captain asked Jones if he was ready to surrender.

"Jones replied, 'I have not yet begun to fight!'

"A severely wounded Marine lying on the deck looked up at Jones and said, 'There is always that 10 percent that don’t get the word.'"

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0371 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.