Dear Smiley: Grocery shopping is a bit crowded this time of year.
As I approached a long checkout line, the man in front of me motioned me to go ahead of him. Noting I had just as many items as he had, I declined.
He then said his wife had forgotten a few items and instructed him not to move, as she would be right back.
When she returned, she asked why he let me get in front of him.
He replied, "Well, you SAID not to move, and that's EXACTLY what I did."
I quietly thanked him again and wished him good luck!
The littlest loyalist
Dear Smiley: I bet Coach O wishes he had more fans like Zelda, age 3.
Her dad watches the Tigers on his computer. One Wednesday Zelda plopped herself down in front of the computer and told her dad she wanted to watch the LSU football game.
He explained that the Tigers played on Saturday, not Wednesday.
Perplexed, she looked at him and said, "But the Tigers win EVERY day!"
Dear Smiley: When I was in ninth grade, I overheard my sister talking with a friend of hers about highlighting their hair for the summer.
They talked about hydrogen peroxide and household ammonia being the method for highlighting or streaking of their coiffures.
Being from the country, and sometimes with time on my hands, I decided I was going to go the highlighting route.
Unaware of any amounts or proportions necessary, I just mixed up a couple of cups and began to “highlight.”
The next morning I woke up with a head of hair that was more the color of a yellow Lab!
To say my high school buddies and faculty were not overly impressed is an exaggeration beyond comprehension.
I even thought about shoe polish to get back to my "brown Lab" tint!
It grew out after several VERY long weeks!
Dear Smiley: When I met my daughter-in-law's two sons from a previous relationship for the first time, they were about 6 and 5 years old.
I was introduced to them as "Drew," the name my wife often calls me.
The boys immediately said, "Like Drew Brees! Yeah, Brees!"
The name stuck. I was instantly Papa Brees, and now it's just plain old Brees.
Even their two younger sons, 2 and 3, call me Brees! I couldn't have planned it better.
Dear Smiley: When my sister gave my parents, the Heberts, their first grandchild, she also gave them the names “Mama Bear” and “Papa Bear,” which all of their grandchildren called them.
Although they passed away many years ago, even now we refer to them as Mama Bear and Papa Bear. Even their great-grandchildren use those names.
Dear Smiley: While playing ball with my grandchildren in the backyard, I'd throw the ball to them.
If they caught it, great. If they missed it, I'd shout, "Fiddlesticks!" (my strongest curse word).
My wife said, "Don't listen to him, he's just being grumpy."
Before too long I became known to them as "Grumpy." Even the great-grandchildren are calling me Grumpy. To my children, I'm simply "The Big Grump."
Dear Smiley: All names chosen by kids aren't great.
My friend Peggy, years ago, decided to give her boys a set of encyclopedias for Christmas. She wrapped them up and put them under the tree.
The boys saw a big package and were so excited for weeks, wondering just what Mom got them.
When they opened the package and discovered their "gift," they sat down and opened one of the books.
They found that the definition of "moose" was "the dumbest animal in the animal kingdom."
From that time on, they called her "Moose!"
"A" for effort
Dear Smiley: I had an appointment with my doctor for a physical.
She asked me if I have an exercise regimen, and I said I try to do 100 pushups and situps twice a day.
She said, “Wow! That’s impressive.”
I told her, “I haven’t come close yet, but I keep trying.”