Tony Falterman, of Napoleonville, says when he was about 7 or 8 he set a "trap" involving a box of Cheerios leaned against a storage area door "so that when it was opened the cereal box would tumble over and spill onto the floor.

"Funny, I thought, if one of my siblings opened it. However, my mom opened the door — and looked at me, knowing I was the guilty party responsible for the mess.

"I took off running into the yard, knowing there was no way a mom could outrun a speedster like me. WRONG! She ran me down like a cheetah does its prey…

"I lost my taste for cereal for many years thereafter!"

It's all relative

Gene Dartez, of Baton Rouge, is a big fan of Albert Einstein, and once visited Princeton to see where the great man lived and taught:

"I have read everything I could find written for the layman on his life and theories, and I understood none of it. The clocks, the trains, the spaceships did not give me an inkling of what relativity is about.

"Now this is scary. One day I started listening to what my wife was saying. While in the utility room she said, 'Take this to the back,' meaning the bedroom. (Our house is laid out side to side, not front to back.) Then in the bedroom she said, 'Take this to the back,' meaning the utility room.

"Umm, relativity must be something like that, don’t you think?"

Memories of kerosene  

Nobey Benoit continues his "poorer than thou" discussion with Tony Falterman.

In the last installment, Tony told of his family having to borrow a mule to haul in their firewood.

Says Nobey: "We had a milk cow, a hog or two, lots of chickens and every kind of pet that you can imagine, but no mule.

"We didn't need one to carry that can of kerosene from the neighborhood store to fuel our lone heater. We had to carry it in summer also, because Momma cooked on a kerosene stove.

"Thankfully, we didn't have a fireplace. I don't know how we would have gotten the firewood home.

"About the pets; if it didn't eat leftovers, we couldn't have it.

"Looking back, we weren't poor; we just didn't have much money."

Nice People Dept.

Ken Duhe says, "My uncle, Charlie Duhe of Lutcher, who recently turned 83, has finally given up his newspaper delivery 'job.'

"For several years, Charlie served 3-5 elderly 'customers' by walking the neighborhood each morning and delivering their newspapers from their driveways to their front doors. Some of his customers don't get around too well, so his kindness was always appreciated.

"To take his place, Charlie recruited son-in-law Tommy Zeringue to take over the route, which at last count had grown to at least 10 customers."

Special People Dept.

  • Sister Angela Bergeron, of Our Lady of Wisdom Healthcare Center in New Orleans, has her 103rd birthday on Friday, Jan. 26. She will celebrate on Saturday, Jan. 27, with family, friends and a Cajun band.
  • J.D. Wells, retired from the State-Times (former Baton Rouge afternoon newspaper) for 30 years, celebrates his 95th birthday on Friday, Jan. 26.
  • Bettie Anderson, of Amber Terrace Assisted Living in Baton Rouge, celebrates her 94th birthday on Sunday, Jan. 28.
  • Lowell Singletary, of St. Amant, celebrates his 91st birthday on Friday, Jan. 26.
  • Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, a long-time column contributor and one of my favorites, celebrates his 90th birthday on Sunday, Jan. 28.
  • Thais and Chris Cimo, of Metairie, celebrate 67 years of marriage on Sunday, Jan. 28.
  • Susan and Wayne Cash, former 30-year Baton Rouge residents now in Murrieta, California, celebrate their 50th anniversary on Saturday, Jan. 27.
  • Wayne and Jane Matherne, of Denham Springs, celebrate their 50th anniversary on Saturday, Jan. 27.

Pun of the Week

Joel d'Aquin Thibodeaux says, "Our friend Albert told us that he had to get the batteries changed in his defibrillator. My husband Ron said, 'I don't have a de-FIB-rillator; I just lie.'"

Louisiana Haiku

Super Bowl looming

No Saints, but party goes on

Crawfish and football

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.