Fellow curmudgeon Dudley Lehew, of Marrero, shares my distaste for people who call, usually at inconvenient times, to try to sell you stuff:
"Re unwanted callers: I LOVE 'em!
"First, when I answer 'Hello' and there's a pause, I know its a robocall and I quickly answer in a computer-sounding voice, 'Goodbye!' They don't call back.
"BUT, if it's a real person, I let my wacky mind run free and have a blast.
"I use the 'polite Southerner' bit: 'Hi, where y'all callin' from?' If I get a town name, then I ask, 'Do y'all know Bessie Jean Culpepper?'
"You have to start talking fast to keep them from continuing their sales pitch: 'Bessie's a cousin once removed on my mama's side,' etc., and keep going until they hang up.
"Or I let them run through their whole spiel, and when they ask for your reaction, snore into the phone.
"I just wish I could be on the other end when the telemarketer turns to the guy in the next cubicle and says, 'You won't believe what I just got!'"
Perry Anderson Snyder says that due to my advanced age and state of deterioration, I might have been asleep when the Houston Astros finally won Game 7 of the World Series, and missed the interview with Alex Bregman, Astros third baseman and former LSU star.
I didn't miss it, and share Perry's feelings:
"Especially revealing of this young man's character was the way he responded to a question about his being the second choice in Major League Baseball's 2015 draft.
"He said Vanderbilt's Dansby Swanson had been selected ahead of him, and, without hesitation, predicted a great major league career for Swanson, now an Atlanta Brave. Talk about a class act!"
Richard Fossey, of Baton Rouge, adds to our seminar on squirrels with the chilling tale of a squirrel hater:
"I live in the College Town neighborhood, which is infested with squirrels.
"One of my neighbors traps them humanely and releases the critters somewhere out in the countryside. Another College Town resident (who shall remain nameless) shoots squirrels in his backyard with a pellet gun.
"One day, the shootist asked my humane neighbor if he could borrow his squirrel traps.
"Surprised by this apparent change in pest-control tactics, my neighbor asked why he suddenly wanted to trap the squirrels.
"'Makes 'em easier to shoot,' the guy replied."
Alton Duke says, "My father-in-law, a member of a pipefitters' local, composed of many World War II veterans, often said they would open meetings with a prayer and close with a fist fight — and he led both a time or two."
Special People Dept.
Frances Lithgoe celebrates her 94th birthday on Friday, Nov. 3. She served during World War II in the U.S. Navy WAVES (Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service).
Paula King, of Gretna, reports seeing this on a shirt:
"You don't scare me … I have a daughter!"
No food for that
"When I was in pre-med at Nicholls many years ago," says Tony Falterman, of Napoleonville, "as part of one of my biology classes I, with Dr. Wilson and a couple of other guys, went shrimping twice a week.
"We had a permit from Wildlife and Fisheries and were not required to follow seasonal openings and closings.
"Sometimes the mosquitoes and gnats were so bad the trips were miserable. On one occasion, Dr. Wilson advised us that a banana in our diet would help deter being bitten.
"One day while at sea, we were surrounded by lightning and even saw a waterspout.
"I asked, 'Doc, what do we have to eat to avoid this lightning and waterspouts?' He said, 'Falterman, be quiet and pray!'
"I said all my prayers except grace!"
Speaking of prayers
Ernie Gremillion, of Baton Rouge, says our story about the pastor praying for a member "reminds me of a similar story about Leroy asking the congregation's prayers for his hearing.
"After the pastor led the prayer, he asked Leroy if it helped his hearing.
"Leroy responded that he wasn't sure, since his hearing wasn't until next Wednesday."