Our word for today, class, is "karma" — the Hindu principle of retributive justice, involving the effect of past deeds on future events.

For example, last year Florida Gators' football coach Jim McElwain, after his team defeated the LSU Tigers, (amid hard feelings about moving the game to Baton Rouge due to a hurricane threat to Gainesville) said, "They got what they deserved. And it should have been worse."

This year Florida lost to LSU, was humiliated by Georgia, and McElwain, whose behavior had become increasing erratic, is no longer the Florida Gators' coach.

And that, boys and girls, is karma.

Class dismissed.

Lost in translation

An anonymous Tigers fan says, "With the upcoming big game (LSU vs. Alabama), I thought you would enjoy this.

"A friend who lives near Tuscaloosa, Alabama, reported to me that the TV stations in T-town have been known to use subtitles when LSU's Coach O is interviewed."

The greens diet

A reader using the alias "Pompous Crow" comments on Larry Lemoine's story about his brother's meal of mustard greens and champagne:

"I've never had that, but I do know that to country Southerners, the first mustard greens of the season are worth a celebration.

"By the end of the season, after eating them all winter, not so much."

A much better story

Buddy Knox has this comment on my Major Injury (a busted shoulder):

"Your injury falling out of the bed reminds me of a similar incident that happened to me many years ago.

"I woke up on the floor next to my bed in the middle of the night. I had hit my head on the corner of a night table, and was bleeding profusely.

"I woke my wife up and we headed to the emergency room. When we got there, the doctor asked me what had happened.

"I told him I had heard a noise at my front door and when I went to check on it, three guys jumped me and hit me in the head with a piece of pipe.

"When the doctor asked what the police said, I told him I had not called the police — because I had actually fallen out of the bed and hit my head.

"He calmly replied, 'If I were you I'd stick with the first story.' He then sewed my head up and sent me home."

That's my story

My response to questions about the origin of my Major Injury is something Marsha R. reports seeing on a T-shirt: "I don't trip, I do random gravity checks."

Consider the source

LaLa Lalonde comments on my story of betting games involving chickens:

"I seem to remember a bar in the Houma-Terrebonne area that also had the 'chicken drop' pool.

"But my reason for writing is your characterization of the sport as 'disgusting.' Don’t we eat the eggs that come out of the same place?" 

Special People Dept.

  • Francis Bunch, of Denham Springs, celebrated birthday No. 91 on Saturday, Oct. 28.
  • Fannie Schittone celebrated her 90th birthday on Sunday, Oct. 29.

Halloween groaner

Every year at this time I can count on getting a truly awful Halloween joke from a reader.

This year's groaner comes from Algie Petrere:

"Halloween riddle: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

"Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!"

Please forgive me, people…

Sign language

Francis Celino, the Metairie Miscreant, says, "I saw a sign on a makeup bag that said 'Better late then ugly.'"

Shooting pains

Marsha R. gives us this story from the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, Tennessee:

"Appalachian musician/storyteller Josh Goforth told of his Grandpa Sam, hearing a commotion in the chicken yard and finding the neighbor’s dog tearing into his flock, blood and feathers everywhere.

"He went back in the house for his shotgun and dealt with the dog appropriately.

"Pretty soon the sheriff turned up: 'Sam, you can’t just go around killing your neighbor’s dogs. Mr. Clanton says that was his champion hunting dog that you killed.'

"Grandpa replied, 'Sheriff, any time Booger Clanton finds any of my chickens upta’ his place, killin’ his dogs, he has my permission to shoot ‘em.'”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0371 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.