Betty Swearingen Marks adds to our "travel adventures" series:

"Several years ago my husband, Marty, and I were on a scuba diving trip to Honduras.

"On the way home we flew into La Ceiba to wait for our plane back to the states.

"When we landed they took everyone's passport and told us to sit in the waiting room. There were soldiers in the waiting room with automatic rifles. At that point we were a little nervous.

"Then a man opened the door and shouted, 'Betty Marks!' He took me outside, and at this point I'm thinking that someone stashed drugs in my suitcase and I'm going to prison for life. I don't speak Spanish, so how could I argue my case?

"He took me into a hangar where the luggage was stored. Then he took me to my suitcase and very nicely said, 'Your luggage tag fell off.' It was only later that I wondered how he knew it was my suitcase!"

Slip-sliding squirrel

Sal Suer, of New Orleans, says, "After reading about some of the squirrel stories and thinking about the recent squirrel attacks in Lakeview, I thought I would tell you a funny story.

"My late brother Henry showed me his solution on outwitting squirrels trying to get into his bird feeder.

"He lived in Lacombe, where squirrels are rampant and beautiful birds are plentiful.

"His bird feeder was perched on top of an 8-foot pipe. The pole was very near his back door and pushed into the ground. He greased the entire pole, and I had a free funny show watching the squirrel slipping and sliding trying to get to the feeder."

Squirrel self-defense

Carol Stutzenbecker, of Kenner, shares this squirrel story:

"After hearing a very loud commotion in my backyard, I discovered that my dachshund Chewie had managed to trap a squirrel who was holed up under our barbecue pit.

"When the squirrel made a run for it to a nearby tree, Chewie got into a tousle with it and killed it.

"As he was strutting around the yard with the squirrel in his mouth, we noticed that Chewie was bleeding profusely. After we sprayed him with a hose, he let go of the squirrel.

"After a very expensive visit to an after-hours veterinarian, we were told that Chewie had been bitten on the ear by the squirrel, but would be OK."

Say what?

Joel d'Aquin Thibodeaux, of Baton Rouge, adds to our GPS tales:

"Here's how our GPS pronounces Mollylea Drive: 'Muh LIL lee uh,' with the accent on the 'LIL.' It rhymes with 'millennia.' We call it 'the GPS dialect.'"

 A hand for the band

Alex "Sonny" Chapman, of Ville Platte, adds this thought about LSU's Tiger Band, a recent column topic:

"They march out of the Music Building at 5:30 p.m. and into Tiger Stadium. They're fully decked out and playing in tune, probably having arrived at 3 that Saturday afternoon.

"They're the last ones to leave the stadium, when they march back to the Music Building, probably around 11 p.m. I'm sure it's midnight before they've taken care of their uniforms and instruments and can leave.

"And this doesn't include the hours of practicing precise marching and expert playing on their instruments at the same time.

"So, any time I meet a former member of the Tiger Band, I know I'm talking to a REAL Tiger fan. And I always tell them so."

Timing is everything

Mike Nola, of Baton Rouge, has discovered what difference a few days (and a somewhat flawed performance on the football field) can make:

"I had bought four tickets to the LSU-Ole Miss game in Oxford, not realizing I had a family commitment that weekend.

"I decided on Sunday morning to put my tickets for sale on Facebook, asking face value.

"A witty newspaper friend (and Ole Miss alumnus) from Alexandria immediately answered my post with: 'Face value — that’s about $3 a ticket, right?'

"I answered him with 'Hotty Toddy' and 'Geaux Tigers!'

"Oh, by the way, know anyone interested in cheap tickets to the game?"

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0371 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.