OPENING THIS WEEK
- DINA MARTINA: Opening Saturday 10 p.m., Cafe Istanbul, 2372 St. Claude Ave., New Orleans. “Ludicrous song, horrifying dance, overburdened costumes and sidesplitting video, Dina Martina’s shows are impossible to describe — other than that they’ve become synonymous with jaw-dropping pathos and mind-blowing comedy.” $25. dworldnola.com.
- “DITZYLAND”: Opening Friday, 8 p.m., and Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday; Rivertown Theaters for the Performing Arts, 325 Minor St., Kenner. Varla Jean Merman, Rickie Graham, Sean Patterson and company take aim at the wonderful world of Walt for this sendup of classic fairy tales. (504) 461-9475. rivertowntheatres.com.
- “HAUS OF MAYHEM”: Opening Friday 10:30 p.m., The Theatre at St. Claude, 2240 St. Claude Ave., New Orleans. Burlesque impresario May Hemmer brings performers both local and imported, with a rotating lineup of variety, nerdlesque, classic burlesque, neo burlesque or something different. $15. (504) 264-1191. thetheatreatstclaude.com.
- IMMIGRATION, ACTIVISM AND THE ARTS COMMUNITY GATHERING AND PERFORMANCE WORKSHOP: 1 p.m. Saturday, Ashé Cultural Arts Center, 1712 O.C. Haley Blvd., New Orleans. Part performance with theater and music at the forefront, and part symposium with numerous speakers exploring the various issues on how the immigration issue is playing out locally. José Torres-Tama and Maritxell Carrero will present a performance workshop Sunday, 2 p.m., Joan Mitchell Center, 2275 Bayou Road. (504) 232-2568. torrestama.com.
- “3 & ½ CHARMERS”: 8 p.m. Saturday, Castle Theatre, 501 Williams Blvd., Kenner. Becky Allen, Jodie Borrello, Amanda Hebert and Allison Hotard in a special comedy event. $15. (504) 287-4707. castle501.com.
- “ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S BIG, GAY DANCE PARTY”: 7:30 p.m. various days through Sunday; Mag’s 940, 940 Elysian Fields Ave., New Orleans. Rockfire Theatre presents a show about a Republican who prosecutes a woman as his ticket to winning the governorship. $20. brownpapertickets.com/event/2486437.
- “THE AMOROUS AMBASSADOR”: 7:30 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays through March 6; Teatro Wego, 177 Sala Ave., Westwego. This madcap comedy from the writer of “Sex Please, We’re Sixty,” comes a romp through the English countryside with Harry Douglas, of “The Sensuous Senator” fame. Directed by “Uncle” Wayne Daigrepont. $25 and up. (504) 885-2000. jpas.org.
- “BE A NEW ORLEANIAN — A SWEARING IN CEREMONY”: 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, 6 p.m. Sundays and Monday through March 6; Theatre at St. Claude, 2240 St. Claude Ave., New Orleans. Jim Fitzmorris’ comic ride through what it takes to call oneself a citizen of the Crescent City. History, heartbreak and celebration are all part of the evening. $22.09. (504) 638-6323. thetheatreatstclaude.com.
- “LOVE TAPS”: 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday; Nims Black Box Theatre, New Orleans Center for Creative Arts, 2800 Chartres St., New Orleans. Narrative works of dance theater through tap and live music in a cabaret setting. $18 and up. theatreontap.com.
- “NO EXIT”: Opening 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday, 3 p.m. Sunday; Delgado Community College Theatre Program, Drama Hall, 615 City Park Ave., New Orleans. Jean-Paul Sartre’s existential work about three people trapped in a dismal room in Hell produces laughs, tears and a disturbing look at how eternity may be spent in something other an fire and brimstone. $10, $8 students/faculty/staff. (504) 671-6360. dcc.edu.
- “VANYA AND SONIA AND MASHA AND SPIKE”: 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 2:30 p.m. Sunday; 30 by Ninety Theatre, 880 Lafayette St., Mandeville. Tony winner for best play, middle-aged siblings Vanya and Sonia share a home where they bicker and complain about their lives. Movie-star sister Masha swoops in with boy toy Spike. Old resentments flare, leading to threats to sell the house. Sassy maid Cassandra can predict the future and aspiring actress Nina’s prettiness worries the imperious Masha. (844) 843-3090. facebook.com/30byNinety.
- “WAITING AROUND”: 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturday, 2:30 p.m. Sundays, through March 12, Bayou Playhouse, 101 Main St., Lockport. The critically acclaimed Off-Broadway musical by Ricky Graham and Harry Mayronne Jr. hits the stage with original cast members Chris Wecklein and Bob Edes Jr. The “Restaurant Musical” was a Big Easy Award winner. $25 advance, $27 door. (888) 992-2968. bayouplayhouse.com.
- “THE BOOK OF MORMON”: Opening 7:30 p.m. March 9, various times through March 13; Saenger Theatre, 1111 Canal St., New Orleans. The creators of “South Park” bring their full force to a look at the Church of Latter-day Saints in this Tony-winning spectacle of music, mayhem and Mormons. The globe-trotting production has riveted audiences and garnered high praise. The show does contain explicit language. $36 and up. (504) 525-1052. saengernola.com.
- “DEAD MAN WALKING”: Opening 8 p.m. March 4, also 2:30 p.m. March 6; Mahalia Jackson Theater for the Performing Arts, 1419 Basin St., New Orleans. The New Orleans Opera Association presents the work based on the account of Sr. Helen Prejean and her work with death-row inmates at Louisiana State Penitentiary. With a libretto by Terrence McNally and music by Jake Heggie, the show has impacted audiences since its 2000 premiere. $26 and up. (504) 529-2278. neworleansopera.org.
- “THE GLASS MENAGERIE”: Opening March 18, 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, 3 p.m. Sundays, through April 3; Le Petit Theatre du Vieux Carre, 616 St. Peter St., New Orleans. Tennessee Williams’ classic tale of the Wingfields — mother Amanda, daughter Laura and son Tom — and the fragile life they lead, with explosive results when a gentleman caller pays a visit. (504) 522-2081. lepetittheatre.com.
- “A LESSON BEFORE DYING”: Opening March 4-10, 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays; Slidell Little Theatre, 2024 Nellie Drive, Slidell. Ernest Gaines celebrated novel about justice, dying with dignity and death row in 1940s rural Louisiana.
- “MADEA ON THE RUN”: Opening 8 p.m. Friday, March 4 and Saturday; also 4 p.m. Saturday; Saenger Theatre, 1111 Canal St., New Orleans. Tyler Perry stars as his unforgettable “Madea” in this comedy. Mabel or Madea is on the run from the law and moves in with her friend Bam, recovering form hip replacement surgery. While there, Madea gives them a family makeover. $39 and up. (504) 525-1052. saengernola.com.
- “MARY POPPINS”: Opening 7:30 p.m. March 11, Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays, through March 20; Jefferson Performing Arts Center, 6400 Airline Drive, Metairie. The mystical, magical nanny flies on the stage at JPAS, with songs by the Sherman Brothers of Disney fame and a book by Julian Fellowes of “Downton Abbey” fame. The event promises to be “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” $40 and up. (504) 885-2000. jpas.org.
- “ONE MAN’S STAND”: Opening 8 p.m. March 11-12, 30 by Ninety Theatre, 880 Lafayette St., Mandeville. Quevaughn Bryant’s show blends comedy, theater and multimedia presentations. $17.50. (884) 843-3090. 30byNinety.com.
- “ORPHEUS DESCENDING”: Opening March 12-April 3, 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, 3 p.m. Sundays; Robert Nims Theatre, UNO Performing Arts Center, 2000 Lakeshore Drive, New Orleans. Southern Rep, in partnership with the Tennessee Williams/New Orleans Literary Festival and the Provincetown Tennessee Williams Theatre Festival, present the playwright’s reimagining of the Orpheus myth in true, Southern Gothic style. $25 and up. (504) 522-6545. southernrep.com.
- “SIVE”: Opening March 10, 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, 3 p.m. Sundays through March 26; Ashe Power House Theater, 1731 Baronne St., New Orleans. The NOLA project presents the story of an orphaned Irish girl sent to live with relatives and the consequences of an arranged proposal to a 70 year old man. $30, $20 backstage pass members. nolaproject.com.
- “THE 25TH ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE”: Opening March 4, 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays, through March 20; Rivertown Theaters for the Performing Arts, 325 Minor St., Kenner. Six “kids” played by adults vie for honors in this spelling competition, with the characters revealing stories about themselves. Also, four audience members will be selected to “compete” onstage. $40, $38 seniors, $36 students/active military. (504) 461-9475. rivertowntheaters.com.
- AMATEUR OPEN MIC NIGHTS: 11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, NOLA Comedy Theatre, 5039 Freret St., New Orleans. Comedy Sportz competitive, clean, all-ages improvisation. $12 adults, $8 kids under 18. (504) 390-4958. nolacomedy.com.
- COMEDY GUMBEAUX: 8:30 p.m. Thursdays, Howlin’ Wolf, 907 S. Peters St., New Orleans. Open mic with seasoned performers. comedygumbeaux.com.
- COMEDY NIGHT: 9 p.m., Saturdays, Twist of Lime, 2820 Lime St., Metairie. (504) 455-7775.
- COMEDYSPORTZ: 8 p.m. Saturdays, NOLA Comedy Theater, 5039 Freret St., New Orleans. All-ages improv comedy show.$10 advance, $13 door. (504) 231-7011. comedysportzneworleans.com.
- GG’S 504 COMEDY TOUR: 8 p.m. Saturday, March 5, Castle Theatre, 501 Williams Blvd., Kenner. Gina Gomez hosts a stand-up comedy showcase featuring Molly Ruben-Long, Isaac Kozell, Mark Firmin and Jeff D. $10. (504) 343-1022. castle501.com.
- NEUTRAL GROUND POETRY FORUM: 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., Wednesdays, Neutral Ground Coffee House, 5110 Danneel St., New Orleans. (504) 891-3381.
- NOLA COMEDY HOUR OPEN MIC: 8 p.m., Hi Ho Lounge, 2239 St. Claude Ave. (504) 945-4446.
- THINK YOU’RE FUNNY?: 9 p.m., Carrollton Station Bar and Music Club, 8140 Willow St., New Orleans. Sign up at 8 p.m. (504) 865-9190.
- “CHICAGO”: Various dates and times, Saturday through March 6; Playmakers Theater, 19106 Playmakers Road, Covington. Kander and Ebb’s vaudeville-style show about murder and mayhem set to music will hit the stage in July. Auditioners should prepare 16-32 bars of audition piece, with sheet music in the proper key or bring a CD with no vocals. Actor hopefuls will read from sides. A separate dance call will be held and is mandatory. (985) 893-1671. playmakersinc.com.
- “HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING” AND “THE WIZARD OF OZ”: March 6, by appointment only, Rivertown Theater for the Performing Arts, 325 Minor St., Kenner. Headshots and resume are requested for auditions. All roles are open with minimum age of 14 years. Singers must prepare 16 bars of an upbeat, Broadway musical number. Dance auditions for nonsingers will be held March 7 at 8 p.m., with dancers learning a combination. Women should bring character heels. Signup for auditions at firstname.lastname@example.org. rivertowntheaters.com.