While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, here are some tales from past columns.

Show time

Mervin recalls the early days of television:

“We didn’t have a TV when we first moved to Baton Rouge. But at night we would look out our window and watch the wrestling matches at the neighbors’ house.

“We did this for several weeks before we found out that they didn’t have a TV either.”

Incentive plan

Kirk Jones, teacher at Walker Junior High, was surprised when one of her less successful students said his grandfather had bought him a car. The student explained his grandpa wanted him to bring up his grades.

“And if I bring them way up,” the youngster said, “he’s going to buy me a motor to put in it!”

Louisiana moosehound

Carl Palmer, of Prairie-ville, was watching TV while dog-sitting Bailey, his son and daughter-in-law’s Welsh corgi. When the Alaska-based TV series “Northern Exposure” came on and a moose ambled across the screen, the pooch began to bark.

“He started for the TV,” says Carl. “About that time the moose disappeared. Bailey looked behind the TV and all around the den, then ran out and searched the back yard.

“Now whenever he hears the theme music, he starts looking for that moose.”

Initial reaction

A Brusly reader says the discussion about Btu taxes recalls the tale of the guy who went into an appliance store and asked to see an electric heater. The salesman asked him, “How many Btus do you want?”

The frustrated customer said, “I dunno know nuttin’ about no B-T-U’s. All I know is, I want a B-T-U big enough to warm a B-U-T as big as a T-U-B.”

Heavenly trial

Ed Schilling, of Amite, tells of a trial where the defendant’s name was Joshua.

The judge, a biblical scholar, asked, “Are you the Joshua who make the sun stand still?”

The accused replied, “No, your honor, I’m the Joshua who made the moon shine.”

A major oversight

A disgruntled reader said I was seriously remiss in my traditional task of telling Aggie jokes the week prior to the LSU-Texas A&M football game.

To correct this oversight, she tells of the Aggie auto racer who lost the Indianapolis 500 after he made five pit stops — three for fuel and two to ask directions.

Stinging remark

How do you know you’re in south Louisiana?

When you find yourself slapping mosquitoes as you hang up the outdoor Christmas decorations.