While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, here are a few stories from past columns.

She’s a good story

Audrey F. Schilling remembers the first traffic light in Opelousas, and the “proud Cajun patrolman” in charge of it.

One day Audrey’s mom drove her Model A (the one with the rumble seat, that her dad traded a very good bird dog and a cow for — but that’s another story) right past the red traffic light.

The patrolman stopped her and indignantly pointed out, “Mais, chere, don’t pass the red lamp until she is green.”

Says Audrey, “Only in Cajun country would a traffic light have gender!”

Clever policeman!

Dr. Harry Kellerman, of New Roads, tells of the rookie policeman patrolling the New Orleans warehouse district around the turn of the last century.

He came across a dead mule on Tchoupitoulas Street, and started to write a report — but realized he didn’t know how to spell Tchoupitoulas.

So he dragged the mule over to Camp Street.

Now that’s rural

Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, doesn’t say he went to a country school, but one year they had to give up driver’s education — because the mule died.

Ultimate guest list

The parents of Adale Simoneaux, 4, of Ethel, say you might be a little Cajun if, at your 4th birthday party, you have 75 aunts, uncles and cousins — and 500 pounds of boiled crawfish.

Aging process

Don “Po Cajun” Bergeron overheard Boudreaux telling Gautreaux, “Dat man sure looks old.”

“He should,” said Gautreaux. “He’s a septuagenarian.”

“Mais, dat’s nothin’,” replied Boudreaux. “I know some Catholics dat look dat old too.”

Hold that hog!

Pat, of Paulina, explains to those folks planning to hold a Groundhog Day event here why we don’t have such things in south Louisiana.

Pat says that as soon as the groundhog stuck his head out of his burrow down here, someone would be waiting with a recipe and a roux …

No comment

Pierre Broussard, of Abbeville, tells of two friends walking home from a social function early one morning.

One of them said, “Isn’t the moon beautiful?”

His friend replied, “You’ve had too much to drink. That’s the sun!”

The argument continued until they spotted a stranger walking down the road.

One of them said, “Friend, you can settle this for us — is that the moon or the sun up there?”

The stranger shrugged and replied, “Sorry gentlemen, I’m not from here.”