Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, but he’s left behind stories from past columns.

Planning ahead

Jack Gremillion tells about the elderly Cajun gentleman who was very sick and would only eat his wife’s fine gumbo.

He told his grandson, Etienne, “Go downstairs and ask your grandma to fix me some more gumbo.”

Etienne shortly came back to the old man’s bedside and told him, “I’m sorry, but Grandma says she’s saving the gumbo for the wake.”

Blame it on love

Loren Scott, who hails from Texas and should know, says:

“A redneck is a guy who falls deeply in love with a woman, and instead of sending her flowers or candy, he spray-paints her name all over the interstate.”

Crowning achievement

When Lou and Mrs. Clou visited their daughter and family in Atlanta, they found them excited about their new dog, a yellow Labrador retriever.

“They kept telling me how smart he was,” says Lou. “But he wasn’t all that smart. I played checkers with him, and won three out of five games!”

The ultimate atheist

Melinda Porter of Gonzales took her girls around the neighborhood to take orders for Girl Scout cookies.

At one house her Brownie, Holly, 7, asked a lady if she’d like to place an order.

“I don’t believe,” she said.

As they walked away from the house, Holly looked at her mother with concern and asked, “She doesn’t believe in Girl Scout cookies?”

The ultimate line

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, thought he’d heard every line a man could use to open a conversation with a woman.

But he swears he overheard a guy saying to a lady at a Delcambre bar, “Mais cher, I like you tooth…”

Think Cajun

Gail White of Breaux Bridge says you might be a Cajun if:

The lot you live on runs between the highway and the bayou.

You were 25 years old before you knew there were Protestants.

You know more than 50 people named LeBlanc.

You cook by making a roux and then figuring out what to do with it.

Your driveway was paved by the parish.

You don’t trust politicians who’ve never been indicted.

Brief grief

Elbridge Charlton says Boudreaux’s widow, asked by the funeral director about his obituary, told him to put “Boudreaux died.”

When he protested that it was too short, she changed it to “Boudreaux died, boat for sale.”