1. ALABAMA (1-0; Last week: 1)

Easy to say you don’t coach for the money, Nick, when you make $11 million per.

2. LSU (1-0; LW: 2)

Mike VII won’t see the inside of Tiger Stadium. Won’t see Rock City (Chattanooga), either.

3. AUBURN (1-0; LW: 4)

Who has the real Death Valley? Ask Auburn (at Clemson, at LSU).

4. GEORGIA (1-0; LW: 3)

UGA's starting freshman QB Jake Fromm at Notre Dame. Light a candle at the grotto.

5. TENNESSEE (1-0; LW: 6)

What’s worse: The Tennessee trash can or another round of “Rocky Top”? Discuss.

6. FLORIDA (0-1; LW: 5)

Irma won't let the Gators face Northern Colorado this week.

7. SOUTH CAROLINA (1-0; LW: 9)

Great win over N.C. State, but Gamecocks were outgained 504-246.

8. MISS. STATE (1-0; LW: 11)

State goes from Crummy Game (Charleston Southern) to Trap Game (La. Tech).

9. ARKANSAS (1-0; LW: 10)

Hogs, TCU coming off HBCU blowouts. Hard matchup to handicap.

10. KENTUCKY (1-0; LW: 8)

Commonwealth Stadium is now Kroger Field. Paper or plastic?

11. OLE MISS (1-0; LW: 12)

Deep snapper quits to go to law school. NCAA investigation jokes in 3 … 2 … 1.

12. MISSOURI (1-0; LW: 13)

Missouri 72, Missouri State 43. Offense: Wow! Defense: Whoa!

13. VANDERBILT (1-0; LW: 14)

Derek Mason not satisfied by 28-6 MTSU win. You know you coach Vandy, right?

14. TEXAS A&M (0-1; LW: 7)

Second. Biggest. Blown. Lead. Ever. Yes, ever.

Follow Scott Rabalais on Twitter, @RabalaisAdv.​