The highly irreverent and always interesting Krewe of Tucks recently celebrated their unique Carnival capers in their traditional fashion.

Reports of the clandestine affair have circulated and, while shrouded in the mystery and mystique often synonymous with krewe, have pierced the veil of secrecy with details of their merriment.

With tongue firmly planted in cheek, the information on the gala have been brought forth for this “report”:

“Hundreds of masked members of the Krewe of Tucks gathered in the Grand Ball Room of the Governor’s Mansion to hail to the exalted monarchs who presides over Carnival’s oldest and most exclusive organization founded by Loyola fraternity members in 1969.

“And oh the pageantry! Oh the pomp! Oh the plungers!

“The bacchanalia was awash in potty paraphernalia and Carnival couture, as raucous revelers eschewed the traditional white tie and white gloves so common among krewes in favor of brightly plumed guises inspired by Tucks’ 2015 theme: ‘Tucks Saves the Day!’

“Precisely at the stroke of 10:07, the crowed parted to behold the potable potentates who perched atop Tucks’ coveted porcelain throne when the krewe held its annual two-ply salute to the oaks of St. Charles Avenue.

“King John Randle ruled over his thirsty subjects with a lordly scepter and regal raiment of purple velvet. On this night, the king looked every bit a prince or, at least, the artist formerly known as prince.

“Queen Brooks Zitzmann —herself the scion of a former Tucks King Tommy Zitzmann and Queen Liz Zitzmann —looked radiant in Oscar de la Renta and precious jewels. She sent admirers into squeals of delight each time she tipped her pewter chalice in acknowledgment of the cheering throngs.

“The royal flush was preceded by the customary contingent of Tucks maidens, clad in the krewe’s traditional French maid gowns: Patty Aguilera, Lorelei Ashe, Bethany Bennett, Andi Carroll, Cindy Cimino, Maureen Donnelly, Megan Douglas, Erin Dufour, Keira Durrette, KC Flalker, Mara Force, Emily Frischertz, Shannon Goans, Theresa Heingarten, Jaime Loebner, Vicki Martinson, Danniele McKnight, Kathleen Parke, Karen Ribaul, Peggy Roberts, Tina Scott, Maranda Smith and former Queen Marie Crews.

“Once introductions were made, the Landry-Cohen High School marching band led the kingly and queenly cohort on gilded floats drawn by vassals through a sea of jubilant subjects.

“Caped and costumed crusaders then made merry on the dance floor.

“The ball ended when the clock struck one. But the heroes and heroines of the Tucks did not cease their skylarking in those wee hours. They spilled from the ballroom and into the night, capes at the ready and spirits in hand. The adventure continued at noon on the streets of New Orleans Saturday.”