After Peyton Manning made his post-Super Bowl endorsement of Budweiser and also thanked the Almighty, Perryn Keys of The Advocate posted this tweet:

“God and alcohol. Tell me he’s not from New Orleans.”

The cars stop here

A concerned motorist says, “I’ve just started reading James Patterson’s book ‘Cross Fire.’

“On page 13 he begins describing a bridge in D.C. The nickname is on page 14: ‘The Car Strangled Spanner.’

“Think we could get his permission to use that description on I-10?”

Tangled web

Charlotte Prouty, of Baton Rouge, says, “I laughed at what Joel d’Aquin Thibodeaux said about what her grandmother told her when her hair was tangled (looking like a squirrel’s nest).

“When I was young and my hair was messy and tangled, my grandmother would tell me she ‘saw better hair on salt meat!’”

Grand openings

Our seminar on the lowly “church key” beverage can opener brought comments from some readers who say it’s still around, and still useful.

Harriet St. Amant, of Baton Rouge, says hers has a factory-attached magnet on its back, and “we still use it regularly, because a lot of juices still come in cans, and a lot of bottle tops don’t screw off easily.

“With the magnet, it attaches to the refrigerator and can always be found.”

Lem Gravelle, of Lafayette, says, “A church key is very useful in opening difficult jars. Simply turn the church key point up and place the point under the jar lid, pressing down gently until you hear a ‘POP’ sound, then easily remove the lid with your fingers.”

Glenn Giro, of Denham Springs, says, “In the mid-’70s, I had a 1960 Chevy that burned quite a bit of oil.

“On a return trip from Austin, Texas, I went through a case of oil, the cheap kind that back then cost 23 cents a can.

“I never had to worry about getting tired on that late-night drive home, because every 50 or so miles I had to pull over and dump two more quarts in.

“That was one ‘church key’ that got a lot of use (I didn’t have one of those popular push-in spouts), and was then never used to open a beer can.”

Nice People Dept.

Kevin says, “On Saturday, Jan. 23, I had to put my 8-year-old Rottweiler to sleep due to cancer.

“I brought him to the Brooks Park Raising Cane’s Dog Park that morning so he’d have a great last day in the sun.

“Three ladies there with their dogs asked about his limp, and once I told them Buddy’s story they spent the rest of our visit giving him lots of love.

“It was truly touching. I just wanted to let these three ladies know how much their thoughtfulness meant to me. It helped make a very sad day for me a little bit sunnier.”

Lost and found

Tom Sylvest says one award was omitted from his account of the Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade on Monday:

“When the statue of Flossie, the Queen of Flamingos, went missing following last year’s parade, Le Krewe Des Batards Ivres swung into action, risking life and limb in a search-and-rescue effort like the heroes in ‘The Expendables’ movies.

“The huge, iconic flamingo was eventually found in a Port Allen motel dumpster by krewe members Helen Newton and Josh Ramirez.

“A grateful Pink Nation’s sighs of relief continue to this day, and the krewe receives ‘The Finest Hour’ award for its efforts.”

Special People Dept.

Eddie Narozniak celebrates his 94th birthday on Tuesday, Feb. 9. He is a World War II veteran.

Gordon Jarnagin, of Amber Terrace Assisted Living in Baton Rouge, celebrates his 93rd birthday on Wednesday, Feb. 10.

Marian Anderson celebrated her 93rd birthday on Monday, March 8.

Katie Vernon, of Greater Mount Carmel Baptist Church, celebrates her 90th birthday on Wednesday, Feb. 10.

Helen Hutchinson, of Lake Charles, formerly a longtime resident of Independence, celebrates her 93rd birthday on Tuesday, Feb. 9.

Grateful nation

On Jan. 12, Earl R. Clayton Jr., of Slidell, 96, received the Legion of Honor from France for flying his B-24 bomber over that country before and after D-Day. In 1944 he received the Distinguished Flying Cross from the U.S. Army Air Corps.

Promises, promises

Shirley Fleniken says, “Did you hear about the politician who promised that if he was elected, he’d make certain that everybody would get an above-average income?”

Relieved grandpa

Marvin Borgmeyer says, “While visiting my 5-year-old granddaughter, I heard her say that she knew the ‘F-word.’

“I had to ask her what it was. She proudly replied, ‘Phonics!’”

Weather report

Lessie Bice says, “It was so windy Monday I had whitecaps on my martini.”

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.