Dear Smiley: Reading the recent stories about milkmen brought back memories of my days at LSU, taking a freshman class, “Elements of Dairying.”

The lecturer was Dr. Evans of the Department of Dairy Science.

There were a couple of hundred students in the class.

On the first day of class, Dr. Evans asked if there were any questions.

A student asked him if it was true that in some countries they drank milk straight from the cow (meaning no pasteurization, homogenization, etc.).

Dr. Evans, without missing a beat, responded, “No, they usually put it in a glass first.”

Class was pretty much done for the day!


Rockport, Texas

Weighty topic

Dear Smiley: During the summers of 1957-58, I was on the work crew of Deer Valley Guest Ranch near Buena Vista, Colo., where part of my pay was “all you could eat.”

They had the large two-hose milk dispenser used by many restaurants and dining halls common to Western tourist facilities.

Although I was originally told that I could drink all the milk I wanted, after two or three weeks the owner pulled me aside and quietly told me that I should limit myself to no more than two large glasses of milk at each meal.

Even with that restriction, I still managed to gain about six or seven pounds in three months.

Still seems like it was a good deal for a growing teenager.


Columbia, Tenn.

Freudian Slip Dept.

Dear Smiley: An item in your column on bloopers reminded me of watching The Johnny Carson Show years ago, when I could stay up that late and still get up for work.

Ed McMahon would do live commercials for the show.

He did one for a famous brand of peanut butter, and one night he got his tongue tangled up.

He was holding the empty jar, and as he put the spoon in the jar, he said, “This peanut butter is good to the bottom of the bar.”

Well, all hell broke loose, with Johnny and Ed falling down laughing, and I did too.

Funny the things you remember that still make you laugh!


Baton Rouge

Nostalgia Corner

Dear Smiley: About your mention of Twin Cedars Grocery:

In 1949 my family moved to Baton Rouge into a house on “Old” Jefferson Highway between Essen and Drusilla, both of which were gravel.

Twin Cedars was important for groceries and fuel (a 5-gallon gravity pump), and the city bus turned around there.

The route was Jefferson to Lobdell to Government to North Boulevard and Third, where all the city buses congregated.

It was after the war and most folks were lucky to have one car, so the bus was an important mode of transportation and important to Twin Cedars as well.

Many a day I rode my bike to Twin Cedars, caught the bus and spent the whole day in Baton Rouge, making sure I had a nickel left to buy a Popsicle for my bike ride home.

Proprietor Mr. Byron Vernon looked after my bike, and as I recall was a very nice man.

It would be nice to provide a historical maker for Twin Cedars Grocery.

Am I sounding like a dinosaur?


McKinney, Texas

Dear Glenn: Of course not — you’re MY age…

Oh brother!

Dear Smiley: This is one of my favorite stories from my childhood:

When I was about 8 or 9 I took my younger brother down to the drug store to buy ice cream cones.

At that time they cost a nickel. He had a nickel and I had a dime.

We went to the soda fountain and ordered our cones. After being served we each put our money on the counter.

The girl took my dime and slid my brother’s nickel over to me.

I pocketed it and we left the store.

As soon as we got outside he said, “Give me my nickel.”

I explained that it wasn’t his nickel anymore; it was my change.

He didn’t buy it, and insisted it was his because he had seen the girl give it to me.

When I wouldn’t give it to him, he started bawling and dumped the ice cream out of his cone. That caused even more bawling.

I ended up taking him back in and buying him another ice cream cone with my last nickel.



Working man blues

Dear Smiley: Your friend Marvin Borgmeyer used the phrase “hardworking journalist” in your Jan. 30 column (to describe you).

Was he making a facetious statement about what journalists do, or was the phrase a typographical error that should have been written as “hardly-working journalist”?


Baton Rouge

Dear Malcolm: Sorry, I can’t answer that right now; I’m busy getting ready for vacation.

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.