Kay Pressley, a paraprofessional at Wildwood Elementary’s summer school, tells a story that should make many of us feel ancient:

“One morning a second-grade student came up to me with a huge grin. I could tell he was excited about something.

“He said, ‘Miss Pressley! I got a new tablet yesterday!’

“I responded, ‘You must love fresh new paper like I do!’

“He looked at me with a VERY puzzled expression. Clearly he had no idea what I was talking about!

“After a long pause he asked, ‘Can you play games on your tablet?.’

“It reminded me of the time one of my boys told me about an antique phone they had seen:

“‘Mom! It came out of the wall with a curly cord and had a dial on it!’”

Sticky situation

Returning from the graduation of grandson Ron at Louisiana College in Pineville, Lady Katherine and I stopped at the legendary Lea’s Lunch Room in Lecompte to pick up a pie.

We got a cherry pie — after I told her a story that convinced her we shouldn’t get a cream pie with meringue.

In the ’60s, when I was traveling the state as Farm Bureau’s PR guy, a cohort and I stopped at Lea’s after a meeting in Alexandria.

We got a banana cream pie, put it in the car and headed out for Baton Rouge.

In a hurry to get home, we had skipped lunch, and by the time we hit Bunkie we were starving.

The aroma of that pie finally got the best of us, and we started rummaging in the car for something to cut it with.

All we found was a “church key” in the glove compartment — a metal device used to open beer cans. (What it was doing in my car is a mystery to me...)

My buddy cut into the pie and took out a handful. After eating a huge slab, he took over driving so I could have a piece of gooey pie with foot-high meringue.

When we got home we looked like the losers in a Three Stooges pie fight...

Mr. Lonely

Jerry Berggren has a “left behind” story:

“Back in the 1990s, when I was director of the LSU St. Gabriel Research Station, we had a practice of taking a departing colleague out for lunch on their last day at work.

“We decided to take ‘Dan’ to Baton Rouge for lunch, and gathered about 11:30 to caravan to town.

“When we arrived at On the Border in several vehicles, we discovered Dan was not with us. Each of us driving thought he was in one of the other vehicles.

“It seems he stepped into the restroom just before we departed without telling anyone.

“We tried to call the office to let him know where we were, but he had already headed to the ‘Pop and Go’ and had a piece of fried chicken for his farewell lunch — alone.”

No smoking

Richard “Poppy” Phillips, of Baton Rouge, tells how he quit smoking:

“In the mid-’50s I was a smart-aleck 12-year-old living in Kentwood.

“I was walking home on a gravel road smoking a ready-roll (a 25-cent pack of Pall Malls) I had stolen from my sister’s purse.

“A pickup truck stopped by me as I hurriedly tried to stamp out the smoke.

“‘Hey, why are you smoking, Bud?’ my Uncle Charlie called out. I replied, ‘Because I’m too green to burn!’

“He gave a big laugh and headed on down the road.

“When I reached home, Daddy asked me, ‘What did you say to Charlie up there on the road?’

“‘I don’t remember,’ I replied.”

Let’s just say his dad wasn’t nearly as amused as his uncle was...

Richard adds, “Fast forward 55-plus years and I’ve been smoke-free. I’ve saved a lot of money that didn’t go up in smoke!”

Ask Mr. Manners

Linda Belleu, of Gonzales, poses an etiquette question:

“I have always had a hard time responding to people I am seeing for the first time in many years.

“They might comment, ‘Didn’t you used to be real tiny?’ or ‘Boy, you really have changed!’”

Linda’s suggested response is, ‘Yes, well, unfortunately, you haven’t changed at all!’”

Mr. Manners is reluctant to approve that response — unless the “unfortunately” is removed...

Thought for the Day

From Susan Koehler, of Metairie: “It seems when someone says they are ‘living on a FIXED income,’ they are really saying that they are usually ‘BROKE.’”

Special People Dept.

Glen and Jeanne Parker celebrate their 64th anniversary on Monday, June 8.

Budding politician

You don’t often hear of someone so young who has mastered the art of telling tall tales to this extent:

Pat Alba, of Metairie, says, “One cold, blustery day in January, I discovered my 3-year-old Kirk playing outside barefooted.

“When I scolded him for taking off his shoes, he replied indignantly, ‘I didn’t take them off! The wind blowed them off!’”

Contacting Smiley

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.