T-Bob Taylor, of Panama City Beach, Florida, is a proud LSU grad and super football fan. But he says the recent play of the Tigers has caused him to adjust his game-watching ritual:
"My two BIG (65 pounds) dogs jump up and get a cookie treat with each LSU score of any kind.
"In the past it was one cookie each. Now, with the way LSU's offense scores, we have to give them PARTS of cookies — or they will be weighing 85 pounds!"
John Currier presents solid evidence that alligator hunters are weird:
"Regular readers of your column might remember that I am a nuisance alligator hunter for the state.
"Most days I leave the house by striking a fists-on-hips pose at the doorway and declaring in a loud superhero style voice to my wife, 'I’m off to do battle with the forces of reptile!'
"I like to mix things up though and keep my wife guessing about my sanity, so occasionally I skip out the door singing, 'I’m off to see the lizard!'”
After my Wednesday comment on The Lady and the Camel story out of Grosse Tete, my mailbox was flooded with comments.
For instance, Bill Haynie, of Slidell, views it as a variation on the old "man bites dog" type of news story.
But unfortunately, most of the comments were unprintable. But they were very funny, and gave me the idea for a new book — "Stories Too Raunchy for Smiley's Column."
It should be a best-seller at adult book stores…
Which reminds me
Speaking of books, and in the interest of blatant self-promotion, I should tell (or warn) you that I'm hard at work on my third book, "Smiley and Friends," containing stories from the third decade of the column.
It's been educational for me; I've been reminded how my readers responded to 9/11, Hurricane Katrina and the BP oil spill — initially with sadness, then determination to overcome the disaster, and finally with even a bit of humor.
The look back has made me realize how fortunate I am to have such extraordinary people as my readers.
Kirk Guidry adds to our collection of "computer illiteracy" stories:
"When I worked for the Department of Education, I would travel around the state doing technology training for teachers and administrators.
"While I was conducting a training in north Louisiana, a teacher raised her hand and said that a information box had appeared on her screen.
"Without missing a beat in my presentation, I told her to press any key and it would go away.
"After I gave them their assignment, she once again raised her hand, and said she could not find the 'any' key."
After my Thursday story on two golfers who witnessed two holes-in-one, I heard from Shooter Mullins:
"Smiley, what is the going rate for a witness to a hole-in-one? And do they get more on weekends? Could I advertise on your column?"
Nice People Dept.
Paul Vincent says the folks at Miracle League, a Baton Rouge baseball league for special needs players, "would like to thank 'American Idol' winner Laine Hardy for coming out and hanging out with the players. He pitches pretty good."
Special People Dept.
- Mable Ruth Moses, of Baton Rouge, celebrates her 98th birthday Friday, Sept. 27. She is a former resident of McComb, Mississippi.
- Sue Bishop Cantey (Mrs. John D.), of Williamsburg Assisted Living in Baton Rouge, celebrates her 97th birthday Friday, Sept. 27.
- John Torbert, of Pineville, celebrates his 95th birthday Saturday, Sept. 28. He is a former resident of Baton Rouge and a long-time contributor to this column.
- Eleanor Hopkins, of Branch, celebrates her 92nd birthday Friday, Sept. 27.
- Rachael "Sally" Savariste Engolio, of Plaquemine, celebrates her 90th birthday Sunday, Sept. 29.
Don't knock it
When I ran Ray Schell's "knock knock" joke, I figured it would be a one-time thing. But nooo....
Ray, of Prairieville, is evidently on a roll, and now he's gotten personal about it:
An ders a guy named Smiley wanting in.