Since my only claim to fame is having once been a cheerleader at Istrouma High, I was interested in this cheerleading story from May Waggoner:

"I have been enjoying the stories of underwhelming athletic performance.

"Back in the day, I was a cheerleader. Like all the others, I knew nothing about the game, but that slight fact didn't matter to any of us — we were more interested in impressing the players.

"At one particularly hard-fought game we were leading a rousing chant of, 'Go! Go! Go for a touchdown!' when the assistant coach came over and discreetly informed us that the other team had the ball."

Pandemic blues

Carol Gallien, of Harahan, says, "I have a song to add to the pandemic playlist: 'Alone Again, Naturally' by Gilbert O'Sullivan."

I'm an emoji?

Janet Schexnayder, of Slidell, says, "My husband is part of a group of friends who run a rock and roll trivia quiz on Facebook.

"I read about your discussion of COVID songs on Wednesday, and wanted to send him this email: 'Smiley Anders discusses COVID songs in his column today. Would make a good theme.'

"But when I tried to use 'Talk to Text' your name, Smiley, was typed out as a :) emoji.

"Did you know about this? Do you now give your name as ' :) Anders' on forms?"

A carnivore wept

Robert Cabes, of Lafayette, tells of a culinary atrocity:

"While I was in law school at Tulane, wife Blair and I lived in a shotgun house on Adams Street.

"We had a very small backyard, but big enough for a small barbecue pit. We usually got ground meat for burgers, but occasionally could get a small steak.

"One Sunday the husband of the young couple on the other side of the shotgun came out while I was cooking some small burgers and put two huge rib-eye steaks on his rusty old pit. He told me he had a buddy whose dad owned Charlie’s Steak House.

"He continued to cook the steaks until they were cooked through. Then he pulled out a big bottle of catsup and smothered them!

"I was glad to see them move."

No meat on the feet

Brot Capers says, "My son gave me a pair of tennis shoes for Christmas. There was a tag tied to one of the laces with only one word, 'Vegan.'" 

Malt beverage

Joyce Scimeca McHenry, of Covington, has a story about selling beer on Sunday before it became legal.

She says her father owned a restaurant in (a southeast Louisiana town I won't name to avoid embarrassing anyone). The restaurant was a hangout for the parish sheriff and his deputies.

Says Joyce: "Daddy used to accommodate customers on Sunday by serving their beer in a malt can. The sheriff came in one day and asked Daddy for one of those delicious malts!"

Which reminds me

Back when the blue laws were in force in Baton Rouge, I recall going into one popular restaurant (never mind which one) on a Sunday evening and noticing that every diner was drinking from a coffee cup.

Assuming that they must serve a fine cup of coffee, I ordered one — only to be told by the server that they hadn't brewed any coffee yet.

It didn't take me long to figure out what those cups held… 

Special People Dept.

  • Juanita Stafford, of Covington, celebrates her 100th birthday Thursday, Feb. 11.
  • Carl Meriwether, of Baton Rouge, celebrated his 94th birthday Wednesday, Feb. 10.
  • Frank Murphy, of Albany, celebrates his 90th birthday Thursday, Feb. 11.
  • The Rev. Harold and Patricia Babin, of Zachary, celebrated their 65th anniversary Wednesday, Feb. 10. He is a retired Methodist minister.
  • John and Carol Hellmers, of Holden, celebrate their 60th anniversary Thursday, Feb. 11.
  • Don and Judy Pellissier, of Slidell, celebrate their 60th anniversary Thursday, Feb. 11.

GPS needed?

Paul King, of Gretna, wonders if there's a problem with directions in a certain medical facility:

"My friend went in for a colonoscopy. The paperwork said a potential side effect may be a sore throat."

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.