Earl Newman, like many golfers, is always looking for a good-luck charm. He thinks he might have found it:
"On Saturday, Sept. 21, in The Advocate's Sports section there was noted two holes-in-one at Baton Rouge Country Club.
"In both cases two of the witnesses were Pat Gahan and Richard Hebert.
"I recently turned 75, and have played golf my entire life — playing barefoot at Howell Park as a teenager and with shoes at Webb, City Park, and Greenwood.
"I taught my wife to play in her mid-50s, and within a year she made a hole-in-one on No. 5 at City Park.
"I have never accomplished this feat, and apparently my chances would increase exponentially were I to be partnered with Misters Gahan and Hebert.
"It’s not that I’m seeking an opportunity to play at BRCC — I’ve played there several times in the past — but rather the opportunity to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow with those two lucky charms."
Fred Skelton, of Baton Rouge, says, "On a recent cruise to Alaska, we docked at the capital city, Juneau. Our tour guide identified several important landmarks.
"Pointing to one large edifice, he told us it was the State Office Building. After a brief pause, he said, smiling, 'We call it the SOB.'
"My wife, Nicki, nudged me and commented, 'We could be in Louisiana.'"
Henry Bellamy says, "During the football game on Sunday a prominent Baton Rouge attorney ran an ad where a lady said she had been injured by a 'wreckless' driver.
"I suggest the attorney should 'Get a dictionary, get it done.'”
But I'm not sure it was a mistake, Henry. Might have been done deliberately so people would discuss it — just like we're doing now…
Mary Guarisco, of Erwinville, says, "After shopping at a Walmart, I left my purse in the basket, drove to the bank and realized what I had done. I raced back, went inside the store, and was told someone had turned it in.
"What a relief. They did not leave their name, so to whoever turned it in, thank you."
Nice People Dept.
Margaret Dawson says, "Our caring and kind UPS delivery man recently stopped by our house, not to deliver a package but to check on my husband's welfare after not having seen him in our yard for several weeks."
Camille Vargas says on Sept. 18, "the local community threw a lovely party for World War II Army Air Force veteran Sgt. Maj. Earl Forstall’s 100th birthday at Humana’s neighborhood center in Metairie. Festivities included a dance by Humana Metairie Zumba class to a World War II song."
Special People Dept.
- Elaine Gomez Cortelloni, of Landmark South, Baton Rouge, celebrates her 99th birthday Thursday, Sept. 26.
- Natalie Elbourne celebrated her 95th birthday Sept. 18.
- Hilton Eymard Sr. celebrates his 94th birthday Thursday, Sept. 26. He is a World War II veteran, having served on a tanker in the Pacific.
- Mary Lee Wilson, of Clinton, celebrated her 91st birthday Sept. 19.
- Louis and Carlyn Rome, of Jefferson, celebrate their 69th anniversary Thursday, Sept. 26.
- Arthur and Sue Joffrion, of Donaldsonville, celebrate their 50th anniversary Thursday, Sept. 26.
Don't bug me!
Bill Huey responds to my Tuesday column's discussion of signs of a cold or mild winter from folklore:
"Saw a woolly bear caterpillar this afternoon. Fat orange band (meaning a mild winter ahead).
"I was hoping for some really cold weather. You know — like the 30s?
"Speaking of bugs, a friend swallowed one at a barbecue recently when he opened his mouth to laugh. He developed intestinal pains and other symptoms, and his doctor told him to see a specialist.
"'What kind of specialist?,' my friend asked.
"'A gastroentomologist,' the doctor said."
Don't knock it
If you thought the gag above was bad, how about a knock-knock joke?
Ray Schell, of Prairieville, found this one in Bob Phillips' book, "Knock Knock Jokes and Tongue Twisters":
Senior so nosey, I won't tell you.