Keith Horcasitas, of Baton Rouge, had a "like father, like son" moment recently:
"My late daddy worked as a federal trade specialist in New Orleans, at the former World Trade Center.
"He once told me that when he had driven his government car up to a company, someone came out with a rifle and asked, 'Are you with the IRS?'"
Keith, who's with Prayer Care, LLC, providing elder care information and referrals, plus mobile counseling, says, "The other day, on a home visit to a client, I saw someone rapidly run away from my client as I drove up in my 'License Noted' government car.
"My client told me, 'My buddy saw your government car and thought you were coming after him — he owes the IRS a slew of dough!'
"Fair warning: April 15 is getting close!"
Jeff Holeman presented me with a possibility I'd rather not think about:
"My brother (and fellow LSU graduate) Randy in Texas came up with this nightmarish scenario:
"LSU fires Will Wade; Alabama hires him, and they rule the SEC for the next 25 years.
Bill Bozzelle, of Baton Rouge, says, "On my way home from work, I was waiting at a red light just in front of the local restaurant of a national chain of seafood eateries.
"Well, there's a new banner there — 'LIVE Crawfish!'
"There was an explanation that for a small fee, one can add LIVE crawfish to any main dish.
"I guess I was very tired, because I saw visions of mudbugs crawling around a shrimp and oyster platter.
"I wonder how one eats live crawfish? It certainly must be difficult to suck the heads with those claws flailing away at you.
"As for me, I think I'll stick to BOILED crawfish."
The hole truth
Mark tells how he mastered a trick question:
"I had a math test eons ago where the teacher asked, as a bonus question, 'How much dirt is in a hole 6 feet wide, 6 feet long, and 6 feet deep?'
"Before you get the calculator out, think about it.
"Being the smart asset I was back then, I wrote 'None.'
"Turned out I was the only one to get it right!"
Color us stalled
John Rooney, of Portland, Texas, responds to my Wednesday diatribe about Baton Rouge traffic:
"Many people think 'Baton Rouge' is French for 'red stick.'
"In actuality, it is an old Istrouma Indian word that when translated means 'orange barrel.'"
Color this dumb
Sam Crosby, of Slidell, reminds us of possibly the worst product to come out of the years before color television became the dominant form of TV:
"Back in the early 1950s my Aunt Hilda came to our house with a plastic sheet that was blue, red, and, I think, yellow.
"My mother asked her what it was, and she then taped it across our black and white TV screen and said, 'Now you have color TV!'"
Special People Dept.
- Val Burns celebrates her 91st birthday Friday, March 22. She is a retired Baton Rouge General Hospital operating room nurse, who specialized in open heart surgery.
- Jackie and Kathy Melker, of Baton Rouge, celebrated their 69th anniversary March 3.
Chuck Falcon, of Donaldsonville, says, "My wife and I were celebrating our 43rd anniversary recently, so I stopped by CVS to get a nice anniversary card.
"While there, I purchased some indigestion medication.
"On the way home I realized what I had just done. Needless to say, I was sure to remove the medication from the bag before handing it to my wife with her loving anniversary card enclosed."
The big chill
Loren Scott, of Baton Rouge, says, "Tyrone Black, one of my best friends, best man at my wedding, and former dean of the College of Business at University of Southern Mississippi, wrote a little ditty about life when we were sophomores in junior college. It appeared in our college essay book:
"Life is like an icicle
Slow to grow
But fast to go
Once it starts to trickle."
Loren comments: "As someone in the 'fourth quarter,' I say amen to that."