Perry Rose, of Denham Springs, says, "I attended an afternoon wedding a few Saturdays ago.

"Other guests were sitting quietly, some were looking down, as the minister read the vows.

"When he got to the 'Speak now or forever hold your peace…' several guests jumped up, arms raised, and yelled, 'Yesss!'

"The poor minister almost fainted, the bride whipped around staring daggers at the offenders, and the groom rolled his eyes up almost out of sight.

"The offenders then realized what they had done, and one explained, holding up his cell phone, that Burrow had passed for the first touchdown of the SEC championship game in Georgia.

"The minister said, 'Let's start over. Speak now or forever hold your peace, touchdowns not withstanding — and Geaux Tigers!'"

Which reminds me

Speaking of weddings and football:

When I got this from Joel d'Aquin Thibodeaux, of Baton Rouge, I figured she was recalling an old gag. But these days it could be a true story:

"Opportunity: A friend of mine has two tickets for the championship game. He paid $2,500 each, but he didn't realize when he brought them it was going to be on the same day as his wedding!

"If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

"It's at the Unitarian Church on Goodwood Boulevard at 7 p.m. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs., good cook, too…She'll be the one in the white dress."

Ode to Jeaux

Thanks to Mike Liffmann for this:

"A friend of mine in Athens, Ohio, Anne U. Walker, sent me this very touching poem by the city’s poet laureate, Kari Gunter-Seymour. Hope you can share with readers!" 

The poem, "Geaux Jeaux," printed in The Athens News, deals with Joe Burrow's Heisman Trophy acceptance speech, where he told of hungry kids in his hometown of Athens.

It starts out telling of feeding kids "Kraft Mac 'n Cheese from the mark down bin at the Dollar Store, for the sixth time in two weeks…" and goes on to list the agony of poverty.

It ends telling of how "a boy from your neighborhood picks up a football and throws it so far thousands of people notice…" and calls attention to the plight of so many in his town.   

The poem is too long to print here, but you can go to https://www.facebook.com/739649872/posts/10158015439659873/

Special People Dept.

J.B. Smiley, of Pride, celebrates his 95th birthday Tuesday, Jan. 7.

That's teamwork!

Continuing our "critters vs. food" series, here's one from Francis Celino, the Metairie Miscreant:

"We had two large female dogs and a small male cat. The cat was the boss.

"One Christmas I carved half the turkey and put the rest way back on the counter as we went to visit some friends.

"Upon our return, it seems the cat had jumped on the counter, pushed the turkey on the floor, and the three of them had a feast. There was nothing left but a broken platter on the kitchen floor."

Thrill of the chase

Speaking of dogs, Nobey Benoit addresses a recent column topic:

"Dogs chase cars for the same reason they chase mailmen. The dogs are always successful in chasing both away. They have succeeded in defending their territory.

"It only seems like dogs no longer chase cars, because of leash laws in the city. Country dogs still chase cars. No, I'm not a 'dog whisperer,' but I do watch the show.

"Thibodaux had a mailman a while back, Mr. Papa, who always had a dog following him. I don't know if that was a guard dog or one that got tired chasing him and decided to join him."

IT humor

IT consultant Gerg Derbes, of Baton Rouge, says, "I heard they were close to apprehending the scoundrels who hacked into the servers at the OMV, but they ransomware."

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.