Alma Mims, of Mandeville, says, "While disciplining my almost 4-year-old great-grandson, his 5-year-old sister asked, 'Why are you mean to my brother?'
"I replied, 'It's not OK for him not to behave; and little Missy, don't you get smart with me!'
"Without a beat, she quickly replied, 'I AM smart; I know all about science and mawmaws!'"
Le comedian Cajun
Robin Roshto, of Baton Rouge, says, "In 2008 my younger brother Ralph took a trip to France with a friend.
"They stayed in Montmartre, and one day they took a trip to Normandy on a giant double-decker bus. A few people on the bus spoke English, but most did not. There was an interpreter with them.
"During the ride Ralph started telling Boudreaux and Thibodeaux jokes while the interpreter smiled and passed them along.
"At the end of the ride, Ralph got a standing applause.
"I'm not sure how much the people on the bus appreciated his attempt at a French accent."
House of danger
A couple of other outhouse observations before I shut down the whole unsavory topic:
Several readers have observed that outhouses made ideal home sites for wasps, and it was always a good idea to check overhead when you entered.
If you found the intruders, the Sears catalog was handy for swatting them.
And Fred Thomas, of Abbeville, says, "Over six decades ago I remember hearing in Dr. Simmons’ public health class that the most common physical site for a black widow spider bite was an outhouse."
Fred says the most common location on the body for such a bite was where you would expect.
Clay Williams, of Prairieville, "I got a kick of how every time the practice hurricane forecasters talked about the length of the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway, they had a different mileage number.
"Reminded me of stories told about Coach Skip Bertman's percentages of walked base runners who eventually score."
Clay, I can't address the baseball comment, but the confusion about the bridge is understandable.
Checking several internet sites, I found the length listed as 23.83, 23.86 and 23.875 miles. Plus, the newer span, completed in 1969, is some 50 feet longer than the original span, completed in 1956.
Probably your best bet when discussing the Causeway is to say, "Almost 24 miles long."
Blue light special
On the rainy Friday night of Hurricane Barry, says Randy Barbay, of Baker, "my wife Pam and I found ourselves with a flat tire and two lug nuts that would not budge.
"Then here came the flashing blue lights!
"Our gratitude and blessings to Baton Rouge Police Officer Shane Smith for arriving with the muscle and proper lug wrench to get us on our way!"
Another moon walk story, this one from Greg Chategnier:
"While watching the moon walk live, 80-year-old Nanny stated, 'Man could NEVER walk on the moon.'
"But she also couldn’t understand why Perry Mason was in a wheelchair!"
Andrew Duhon, of Lafayette, says, "The Wimbledon men's singles final was epic — a great match that had even my non-sports-fan wife thrilled.
"But the vagaries of tennis scoring escape her. After I pointed out to her that Federer actually scored more points in the match than his opponent, she replied, 'Oh, Djokovic must have won the Electoral College!'
"Not sure if she was joking."
Special People Dept.
Doris Davenport celebrated her 90th birthday Sunday with lunch at the Dinner Bell in McComb, Mississippi.
Ernie Gremillion, of Baton Rouge, says, "I recently picked up a pizza from one of the local franchises.
"In keeping with my usual practice of kidding with the clerks who wait on me, I asked if they sliced their pepperoni on site.
"They said they did not, and wondered why I asked.
"I responded that any machine that can slice something so thin it has only one side would be worth seeing."
John Larkin says, "While you folks were worrying about the rain, it was 110 degrees in Surprise, Arizona.
"The sidewalks were so hot I actually saw a guy's shadow jump off the sidewalk and walk beside him."