Dear Smiley: After reading about twins in your column, I was reminded of the comments we constantly got from strangers when our twins were babies.
“How cute; are they identical?” I didn’t mind them telling me they were cute; we thought they were too. But identical?
I would politely tell them that the one dressed like a boy was in fact a boy and that the one dressed like the girl was indeed a girl, so they weren’t identical.
What’s scary is that a professor in their college freshman biology class asked if they were identical. (I won’t say which college.)
We were stopped at the mall one day by a lady who asked the "identical" question.
I told her they were not identical, because my son was born three months before his twin sister. The look on her face was priceless.
This reply didn’t stop people from asking, but I sure got a kick out of watching their faces as they tried to figure it out.
Get a new song!
Dear Smiley: During this difficult time, most people seem to be worrying about gaining weight.
My solution is simple — stop singing "Happy Birthday" twice when you wash your hands.
It makes you want to go get a piece of cake — or maybe two.
Dear Smiley: At lunch with artist friends in Baton Rouge the other day, Leah Schwartzman, Art Guild of Louisiana president, made a profoundly true and just as disturbing statement after none of us could remember a former TV celebrity's name.
"These days, it takes three people to complete a sentence," she said.
A few moments of silence followed weak chuckles.
Dear Smiley: I was wondering whenever this coronavirus is over if I can recognize my friends without their masks on?
Sci-fi gets real
Dear Smiley: Did you know that time travel has been invented?
We have some LED lights that the manufacturer says are supposed to last 20 years. They came on the scene about five years ago.
We have several that are going out now, so someone must have time traveled to put those bulbs in our sockets 20 years ago!
Dear Smiley: My brother-in-law was an avid fisherman, and Sunday was his favorite fishing day.
St. Joseph the Worker Catholic Church in Pierre Part had a 7 a.m. Mass to accommodate fishermen, many from surrounding communities.
One of Father LaPierre's favorite comments before the collection was, "I can always tell how many of you are not from this parish. All I have to do is count the number of nickels in the collection."
No more nickels…
Dear Smiley: How can you tell you have stayed at home too long? You're writing Smiley Anders!
It's time to revisit your pet peeve, Daylight Savings Time.
Now that the sun is rising near 6 a.m., I am sure you are hopping out of bed when those rays first hit your window!
In a followup, a reader mentioned that "kids waiting in the dark for the school bus is dangerous." I've lived in Baton Rouge 45 years and have never heard of a child hurt while waiting for a bus.
Most importantly, the best reason to keep DST forever is this: Golfers now have time to play nine holes after work!
Dear Steve: I'll let you know the next time I do any hopping at 6 a.m.
Dear Smiley: I would love to put my two cents in for the naming of our wonderful Superdome: "Benson's Battledome."
It would honor the Benson family, and hopefully put some fear into any NFL team coming here to play the Saints.
Dear Smiley: A suggestion for your Superdome Naming Sweepstakes:
Name the Superdome the Fats Domino Sugar Dome and erect at Lee Circle a monument of Fats and his piano — both sponsored by the Domino sugar people.
At both places have a loop of Fats songs interspersed with videos of sugar songs, like "Sugar Shack."
Dear Robert: But NOT "Sugar, Sugar" by The Archies!