Before you make some smart-aleck crack about the above headline, read on:

Russ Wise, of LaPlace, says, "I went out to pick up my newspaper (The Advocate, of course) one morning, but there was no paper.

"I called the circulation desk, and another one arrived later in the day. The next day, the same thing happened, and the next, and the next.

"Finally, after four or five days, the mystery was solved. I spotted a neighbor’s golden retriever trotting away with my newspaper in its mouth.

"It wouldn’t stop until it deposited the paper in a stack of them in its yard that it had already brought home from other houses. As she watched, I pulled mine out and took it home.

"To this day, I have no idea why Goldie, a familiar sight in the neighborhood, took a sudden liking to retrieving newspapers."

Isn't it obvious, Russ? I recently started running stories about dogs and have had at least one or two mentions of pooches in each column.

I start covering the dog world, and Goldie gets interested in The Advocate. Coincidence? I don't think so. …

Road warriors

Tania Bourgeois, of Lutcher, says, "I was born and raised on the River Road in Paulina. My dad and I listened to LSU football games and loved the Tigers.

"One year my mom gathered us kids to sit in the front yard to wait for the football team to pass in buses on their way to the Sugar Bowl.

"With players on the team from towns like Gonzales, Donaldsonville, Prairieville, Destrehan, New Orleans, etc., wouldn't it be fun if the Tigers took La. 44 (the River Road) to New Orleans so that the small-town Tigers fans could pay tribute to them!

"We could line the levee with signs, banners, pom-poms, etc., and have a good old time cheering them on to the championship game in New Orleans."

Disney dogs

Charlanne Cress, of Zachary, says her brother-in-law Martin Buser, four-time Iditarod Sled Dog Race champion, was technical advisor and "mushing double" for actor Willem Dafoe in the Disney movie "Togo."

She adds, "The movie is the story of the real hero of the 'Great Race of Mercy' in 1925. Nome, Alaska, was stricken with a diphtheria epidemic and the serum had to be relayed across Alaska by dog team.

"Martin enjoyed crawfish étouffée every morning for breakfast while he was here for the Christmas holidays, and local fans brought him Jerry Lee’s boudin. He will race in his 37th Iditarod in March."

Ladies on wheels

If you're an admirer of tough, possibly dangerous, women, roller derby is the sport for you.

"Trash Panda" says Red Stick Roller Derby starts a training program Jan. 21 and invites inquiries about joining the league:

"We also have a junior league for those 7-17. Both leagues are great opportunities for people who want to take up a new hobby in the new year and meet new friends!"

Email trashpanda369@gmail.com.

Special People Dept.

  • Inez “Nez” Landry, of Magnolia Assisted Living in Gonzales, celebrates her 100th birthday Saturday, Jan. 11. She is a native of Donaldsonville. 
  • Lucy LeBlanc Kadair celebrates her 98th birthday Friday, Jan. 10. She is a native of Algiers.
  • Evelyn C. Brown, of Baton Rouge, celebrated her 95th birthday Thursday, Jan. 9.
  • Jude Marks, of LaPlace, celebrates his 90th birthday Friday, Jan. 10. He’s a World War II Navy veteran and a full-time barber, in his shop five days a week.
  • Penny Langlinais, of Lafayette, celebrates her 90th birthday Friday, Jan. 10. She is co-founder of Langlinais Food Store, one of the oldest independent grocers in the city.

Remember hippies?

Shooter Mullins joins our "hippy joke" revival efforts:

Hippy No. 1: "Hey man, you lost a shoe."

Hippy No. 2: "No man, I found one."

Think about it

William Font, of Hammond, tells the kind of "walks into a bar" story you'd expect from an SLU professor emeritus:

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he would like a drink. Descartes says, "I think not." And then he disappears.

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.